pageant recap

miss oklahoma won. she was under the radar the whole time. i kept forgetting she was even a contestant. nothing about her stood out to me. except the bottom half of her evening gown. the black sequins looked like shimmery, wet leather. and i sort of liked that. and once again miss mississippi and miss alabama made it to the top 5. they deserve prizes just for consistency. but miss oklahoma? i thought her performance was iffy and a little pitchy, her answers to the interview questions were asinine, and she seemed to have as much personality as a block of wood. i was really rooting for miss mississippi. her talent was incredible(pianists do not get the credit they deserve) her answer to the question about hurricane katrina was DYNAMITE!!! and she maintained a decorum and poise about her that surprised me. at first glance she looked like a flighty sorority girl; she must have had one heck of a pageant coach.
anyway, i DETESTED miss georgia. and it pains me to say that. thomas wanted to kick her off the stage. i found her unpleasant to look at, her talent mediocre, her answers to interview questions inappropriate and confusing(she liked "no child left behind" but she doesn't like testing??? i'm not sure what that means) and i was ECSTATIC that she didn't win. we already have tara conner making a fool of herself. we don't need miss america acting the same way.
i did like miss texas but i thought that she did seem a bit unpolished. but not bad for her first real pageant.
final word-miss utah- i must say that i am always a little skeptical of miss utah contestants. having lived in utah for five years and being born there and also a daugther of utah pioneers i feel a kinship to the state. but recently i have been greatly disappointed in the contestants in this pageant and miss usa that are byu students and alum, but don't look like it. being miss utah while being a byu student means to me that they will look a little more modest than the rest of the pack. and katie millar filled that order. i thought she did a great job on the evening gown competition and it looked like she even added extra sleeve fabric to her introductions dress, and i must say that her swimsuit competition dress was EXCEEDINGLY modest. is there such a thing a too modest? or should i just say not flattering. mad props to her to being forthright with her standards, i just wish she could have picked something a little more exciting and lost the grandma sash around her waist. if the swimsuit competition is supposedly about physical fitness(which i have my doubts about) then the sash and suit did not make her look any more fit or muscular. i think the sash actually made her look like she had more weight than she does, and she is a very petite girl. so i took the liberty of picking a few other options for her if she chooses to pursue the title of miss utah usa in the future:



still one piece suits but a little more exciting. is this wrong of me to want my good mormon girls to have some pizazz???

here i am, miss america!!!

tonight is the miss america pageant on CMT! i am so excited. everyone needs to watch. this national institution is becoming more and more neglected and overshadowed every year. i have always wanted to be in a beauty(scholarship) pageant, but the whole swimsuit competition sort of deterred me. now i have my sites set on a mrs. america pageant. i can only dream.
speaking of, last night i dreamt that i was miss missouri and that i had a big fake hair piece on and i was waiting with the other contestants for them to announce the top 20. if only i had dreamt i was miss alabama or miss mississippi. they have the best track records of winning or high finishes. then i would have made it into the top 20.
my picks for tonight- miss arizona(long shot, but so endearing-loved her on the CMT pageant school program)miss mississippi, miss michigan, miss arkansas, miss kansas(as much as it pains me to support anything from kansas)and even more painful to cheer for is miss tennessee. i hate rocky top! but her name is blair pancake so she can't be all bad! and who i don't want to win after i read that her career ambition was "to integrate theatre into a pediatric clinical practice" is miss connecticut. is it just me or does that sound REALLY contrived???





my miss america picture with my best cheesy smile. i happen to be pretty good at those.












this bib is available for only $5.00. if this baby is a girl, you know she will be getting one!!!

















a final word-dr. 90210 is a mormon. am i the last to know this??? how did i find this out, you ask? simply blogger stalking. a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend has mentioned on her blog that she saw him at their chapel one sunday when they arrived early. she had heard rumors that he was in the same stake, but the same building??? yowzers. who'd of thunk it? not me FO SHO! and let me just add an "eww" to that too.

hypocrisy

Surprise! i am tired of liberal hypocrisy. this is a report from the website "a socialite's life". is anyone else out there tired of the liberal "media"(termed used VERY loosely in this case) constantly picking on conservatives about everything they do? jenna bush was mocked by the media for being an underage drinking wild child. now that she is trying to do something respectable with her life, a la angelina jolie, she is dull and "unsexy". perhaps if she promoted the forthcoming book on tv talk shows drunk like danny devito, then she would be accepted.


US News reports that Jenna Bush is shopping a book proposal around.
You can soon add the title of author to first daughter Jenna Bush's résumé. Whispers learns that the 25-year-old blond twin of Barbara Bush is shopping a book proposal to major publishers in New York City. We're told that the project is vague and that she's initially only gauging publishers' interest. The White House wouldn't comment, but others say it will be a young-adult book based on the former grade school teacher's experiences with charity causes in Latin America. It ought to sell: She's represented by super lawyer-agent Robert Barnett, who squired her around publishing offices in the Big Apple earlier this month. The profits will go to charity.Ugh. This chick was so much hotter when she was running around wasted and smoking up with Ashton Kutcher in a halter top. Writing a book and donating the proceeds to charity is so unsexy. It borders on dowdy, even. So sad. A virtual spinster at 25.-a socialite's life.

there you have it. jenna's a drunk and they hate her; she's a philanthropist and they hate her more.

photo contest entries

my brother david submitted this photo of himself. he was on his way to a "bad christmas sweater party". ingenius idea. i may need to copycat that idea next year.

















thanks to rachel for sending in this photo of her husband joel, and some
random man that wandered into her sister's wedding reception. i don't know what i feel worse for, the jeans he is wearing or the chair he is sitting in. rachel is award 20 bonus points because joel is in the photo.












i still have more contest photos to post and if you have some late entries i am still accepting photos.

take a seat, this may take a while

Gripes
storytime-please have the librarian reading the story to the children at storytime be able to read basic words. today i took reagan to storytime and the book read was Olivia Saves the Circus. each time the librarian was supposed to say lion tamer, she would say lion taNer. i was trying to give her the benefit of the doubt being that we are in alabama and sometimes our accents get the best of us, but she cleary and confidently said numerous times: TANER. what in the world is a taner?

a baby story on TLC-i usually don't watch this show because i can't stand watching women give birth, especially with no medication. that doesn't make me excited at all for july 6th. today i just happened to be watching the program and the nurse/midwife gave completely wrong and bad information. i hate when nationally televised programs with some credibility have people on there that don't know what they are talking about. even worse, this woman was assisting a new mother. the nurse/midwife stated that she really hoped that the mother-to-be would avoid a cesarean section so that she could have a vaginal birth in the future. WRONG!
from the mayo clinic website:

"Years ago, a C-section ended any hope of future vaginal deliveries. Now, however, most C-sections involve an incision that is unlikely to tear during a subsequent labor, so vaginal birth after Caesarean section (VBAC) is a safe option for many women."

this was a very recent episode of a baby story, so the chances of her doctor using an incision that would leave her unable to have a vaginal birth in the future is very slim. i think some people just like to scare people.

speaking of scaring people...

Rosie O'Donnell- i just want her to SHUT UP!


i feel the need to take donald trump's side in their little spat just because she is sososo annoying. and she is a loser and a bully. sure, i think that trumpster should have given miss usa her walking papers after the whole underage drinking, alledged drug use and promiscuity debacle, but it is his organization so he can do what he wants. i'll just maintain my opinion. but rosie as a bastion for morality??? what is she talking about? her failed broadway musical "TABOO" was glorifying debauchery and sex. her magazine "rosie" was a flop. she sued the magazine publisher who claimed the failure of the magazine was due to O'Donnell's uncooperative, rude and violent behavior within the magazine's offices. Of note was a former magazine colleague and breast cancer survivor who testified that O'Donnell said to her on the phone that "people who lie die of cancer."
furthermore, on her show "the view" or as i like to call it, "the view of liberal narcissists", rosie loves to be a know-it-all and throw out "statistics" about her causes. i think she believes that manipulated half-truths are statistics. don't even get me started on her FBI statistics about pedophiles. that one REALLY steamed me. blatant lies to promote the gay agenda. once again, i do not appreciate people peddling their skewed thoughts as truths on tv. get some correct information and maybe i'll listen.
i used to watch "the view" occasionally because i liked elisabeth hasslebeck, the lone voice of conservatism and abstract thought on the show. but since rosie has been on the show, lizzie seems frazzled and tired of being constantly attacked and belittled for her beliefs and just agrees or remains quiet most of the time. i hope the show tanks.

RAVES!!!
the office- if you are not watching this show, i hope you are reading your scriptures or in a coma. last night's episode was genius. i always enjoy the episodes, but this season has been more funny than laugh out loud and roll on the floor hilarious. last night was fresh meat. WOW! phyllis is a sales rep? and a clever one at that? andy, i don't know whether to applaud your deceitfulness or hate your awful guts. your deceitfulness made me realize my deep and abiding love for dwight, as ridiculous as that sounds. i can't wait to see what angela has planned for you as revenge, but i bet it involves cats. and i know it will be scary and painful. she is one wicked christian. andy, thanks for being the spice this season, you horrible, no-good twit.
of course, who would have thought that dwight would have been the one to sacrifice it all for love? that angela is a lucky girl.
michael, you are a competent salesperson! i guess you had to be made manager somehow. surely, if angela doesn't castrate andy, you will at least see his poor salesmanship and fire him because of that. a wonderful episode indeed.

target- i used to dread making returns at target because they have absolutely unhelpful staff and there always seems to be a loophole to their returns policy. but there has been a breakthrough. for christmas, my m-i-l bought me some maternity shirts. they were both ginormous(i have no boobs) and there was no way i could wear them. the clincher is that she bought them online and had no store receipt. i did have the online printout proving the purchase and price. i took all my items and printout and braced for the worst. the sullen cashier told me that my computer printout didn't count as a receipt, but that they did have a new computer system where you could try and look up and print out the receipt. she pointed to a kiosk and that is where all help from her ended. fortunately, the system can look up a sales history from your online purchase id(or from your name, i think) and create a new receipt for you. hurray! i quickly and easily found the receipt, printed it and i was able to return both shirts for FULL PURCHASE PRICE!!! now i have a gift card for target! i can't wait for the spring maternity lines to hit the store so i can go on a mini shopping spree!!! (how frugal am i that i consider a $40 gift card a shopping spree?)

sidenote-i bid on a maternity shirt on ebay,
however, it wasn't until later that i noticed it was in british pounds. the shirt is still a great deal, i am just a little uneasy about how much it is going to cost to ship this $4 shirt from scotland. any experienced ebayers have some suggestions? i am still waiting to hear from the seller.

resolutions

1. write in my journal weekly
2. write to my missionary family members weekly
3. family home evening every week
4. eat vegetables daily
5. exercise only when i feel well, not because i want to
6. following weekly cleaning chart
7. read a book to reagan everyday
8. go to bed at 10:30pm at the LATEST
9. do my visiting teaching every month
10. avoid tv shows that i don't want my children to watch

UPDATE

sure-eee, my ymca nemesis is claiming that she is done with spinning class. while in class on monday, she broke her bike,(she claims that she was riding it too hard, of course) and that she was forever done with spinning. this was her fourth bike that she had "finished" and she was taking it as an omen for her to quit. i don't care what she says, i just hope that she isn't getting my hopes up and she really is quitting. i shall keep you posted.
also, a gripe:
i have noticed an overwhelming number of vehicles that do not get out of the way when an emergency vehicle is approaching. this drives me INSANE! what more does an ambulance or fire truck need to do to prove that it is going to an emergency? do the sirens and horns not mean anything? do they think it is a parade? twice in the past two weeks i have seen car pull out in front of emergency vehicles, hindering the speed and the agility of the ambulance. call me crazy, but aren't we as drivers supposed to pull over to the side of the road until emergency vehicles have passed? i have even had drivers honk at me because i was slowing for an ambulance. thoughts on this?

it's fun to fight at the Y-M-C-A!!!

i take a spinning class(group bicycling class) at the ymca at least 3 times a week. i love it. it is fun and interesting exercise. i have made friends with fellow members and instructors. while i am not an overly athletic person, i feel like a do well at spinning. i have good form and i have really built my endurance up. here is my problem. there is a lady that also attends the ymca and does spinning classes. she attends the ymca daily and spins at least 3 times a week. her name is sure-eee(phonetically). she is very chummy with many members and instructors and she often submits music to be played during class. she has claimed a particular bike as her own(so have i) and almost always attends the same classes at the same times. here is my problem...she feels the need to SING and SHOUT all through class. it is almost non-stop. she calls things out to the instructor, she shouts "motivation" to the rest of the class, she shouts random conversation type comments to people she knows. while i find that spinning class can be very personal and introspective, i also enjoy some class cameraderie. i am not requesting complete and total silence. but, there are many times that i cannot hear the instructor's instructions or words of encouragement because she is so OBNOXIOUS and LOUD. she often brags that she has two sets of lungs, one for spinning and one for singing. what else bothers me you ask??? well, she also likes to brag that she never gets enough workout from the classes and that she can out exercise any instructor. according to her she can spin for 4 hours. if you are not feeling challenged from your workout, it is time to change it up. muscles can get used to the same thing day after day. complacency in exercise will stop your body from burning calories and building muscle . if you are singing and talking for 45 minutes and claiming that you aren't even breaking a sweat or breathing heavy, you are either lance armstrong or you need to try something else because you are not getting the workout you are needing. she is no lance armstrong. while she does have nice calves, she does have a lot of weight to lose in her arms and middle. something isn't right if you claim you are working out harder than 2 percent body fat instructors and you still have excess weight. is that mean? i don't want to be mean,(honestly) i am just observant and descriptive. finally, i want her to stop singing more than anything else. she can brag all day and all night about her athletic prowess if she would just shut up with the incessant singing. she loves to submit christian pop music and then sing "PRAISE JESUS, WE ARE NOT WORTHY, HALLELUJAH!". worse than that is when she doesn't know the words to the songs and she just makes them up. today was classic! the theme from james bond was one of our warm up songs and there were no words on the version being played. that didn't stop sure-eee! "GOLDFINGER WILL GET YOU, BIKE FASTER IF YOU WANT TO LIVE AND LET LIE(not even the correct title), JAMES BOND IS 007." it drives me crazy! NUTS!
so, what do i do? i have tried to attend classes that she won't be it, but i can't always be rearranging my whole schedule. i don't know if i can complain to somebody, because sure-eee is friends with everybody. i am sure that she is a nice lady, but i don't pay my monthly dues to be annoyed while exercising. i have been tempted on sosososo many occasions to yell something back at her while she is motivating me with such endearment as "PUSH IT GIRLS, YOU HAVE TO WORK HARDER THAN THAT!". but i have refrained. that last thing i need is a ymca enemy.
ideas??? an anonymous note on her bike that says shut your big mouth? hitting her knee with a crowbar, a la tonya harding? get up at 5:30am and drag my baby to the 5:45am class? all sound reasonable, right?

a photography challenge

traveling this holiday season can be an overwhelming experience. baggage is lost, flights are missed, airplane food is mediocre at best. traveling by car means long hours in one seat with kids asking the never ending question, "are we there yet?".
one thing that can brighten your trip is the wacky people that are also traveling. it makes me wonder while people choose travel as a great time to break out the crazy clothing. my brother david sent me this picture a while back of a woman they saw in the salt lake city airport when they were waiting to pick up a cousin when he returned home from his mission. does she think the airport doubles as a nightclub? it makes me smile to this day.















so bloggers, keep your eyes open this holiday season for the crazy people that you see while traveling, while at a gas station, while at a restaurant, concerts, family get togethers...anywhere. send me the pic and i will post them on this blog. try to be discreet, or not so discreet. bonus if you are in the picture too! it'll be fun!
ps-david, try and find that picture of that chick popping her boyfriend's back zits while at an amusement park. that would be a quality posting!

holidays schmolidays

a holiday equation:
if holidays=food, and food=family get togethers, and family get togethers= crazy family members, then, holidays=crazy family members.
every family has got at least one wacky family member. and if you don't know who it is, then it is you. the wackiest member of thomas' family on his mother's side is his great-uncle george. george has told everyone for a number of years that he is a doctor and he is at the point now, where i think he believes it himself. the only thing that i think he is a doctor of is bad toupees and green velvet blazers.














i hope everyone takes this moment to reflect on their wacky family members and ponder the fact that, families truly can be together forever. ahhh!

the fall of the house of spederline

the most important entertainment news of the year is here, and it takes me a week to blog about it? forgive me. travel, illness, extensive research on the subject have delayed my blogging. BRITNEY FILED FOR DIVORCE! i typed that with such GLEE! with the utmost amount of relish a keyboard will allow! when i heard the news i couldn't stop screaming like a beehive girl at the thought of her first stake dance! (sorry nat, i hope your ears have recovered.)
where do i begin? i guess i could give thanks. thank goodness britney came to her senses after only two years, instead of whitney houston's 13 years with bobby brown. thanks to lynn spears for insisting on the 60 page pre-nuptial agreement that pretty much limits fed-ex to $300,000 cash, no gifts over $10,000 and half the malibu mansion(on the market for $13 million, approximately 6ish mill would go to kev.) sheer brilliance. i must give thanks to much music canada, which filmed the exact moment that fed-ex was texted with the divorce news. i am so glad that we could all share that moment together. and of course, joel mchale of the soup, whose humor and wit helped carry my wounded soul through the last two years of hardship and hilarious wannabe rapper-isms.
i have my own ideas on why this divorce happened now and the events that led up to the divorce. first of all, reported in december of 2005, just months after little sean preston was born, kevin is rumored to have been forced to move out into a hotel. this is based on claims of smoking, cigarettes and other smokeable things, in the house around sean p. also, a contributing factor to that marriage hiatus is kev's excessive partying(with female friends) and constant spending of brit's cash. only britney is allowed to make ridiculous purchases with britney's money. divorce could have been impending doom for the federlines at this point, but brit's pride was still inact(loosely intact, being held together by a weak bikini top spaghetti strap) and then of course she got knocked up again.

that kevin must be quite irresistable. another factor to the breakup is kevin's so-called rap career. that could break down any marriage. the constant promotion of the album has led to little time together as a family. in fact, i cannot recall seeing britney and kevin together for at least the last six months. anyone??? and britney doesn't seem to be very skilled at avoiding the paparazzi, so that cannot be used as an excuse. i truly believe that britney did not file paperwork on the divorce until last week so that jayden james could be born within the bonds of holy matrimony and that she wanted to see kev succeed in his rap career so he would have some sort of income or accomplishment to show his kids and the world. too bad that didn't happen. maybe he will be big in japan or germany. like david hasselhoff. or so that he couldn't blame his failure on her and sue for defamation or something legalese. these are all just ideas of course.
britney future looks very bright at this point. people everywhere are pulling for her to make a comeback. i just can't wait to see her abs in a few months. i hope they are killer. babies will do crazy things to your muscle tone.
will we ever see this again???









a token picture of britney in a hat. probably the best one ever since she always INSISTS on wearing them and they never look good.










one of my fave pics of brit, pure as the driven snow.















"now which one of my 17 kids are you? oh good, you've got your name on your shirt. thanks! now if i can only get the others to do the same."
















here's the game: let's try and guess who britney's new beau will be. i give her 6 months to find someone new. any ideas???

a last thought: how long will it take for kevin to blow through his divorce settlement? and what will be the first ridiculous thing that he buys, post-divorce?

when will fidelity be in vogue?

i tried to find the worst possible picture of ryan...





and the absolute most gorgeous picture of reese.

















where to begin??? the celebrity world was shocked this week by the announcement of reese witherspoon filing for divorce. yikes. i must admit i was saddened by the news, but at the same time, i am becoming very desensitized by the plethora of celebrity divorces. if it was "in" last year to get married and get pregnant, then it is "in" this year to divorce very publicly. my humble opinion on the reese/ryan demise? i think he cheated. through my extensive research(pink is the new blog), i have compiled information that would lead me to believe that ryan was sloppy about hiding his mistress and the whole world and reese found out. this also makes me think that he wanted reese to find out. being discreet shouldn't be too hard; don't go in public and openly canoodle someone that isn't your wife. this brings me to my next point, EVERYONE IN HOLLYWOOD CHEATS! and i am so sick of it. i have compiled a list of cheaters:
prince charles and princess diana
rudy giuliani
brad pitt and angelina jolie
donald trump
owen wilson and kate hudson
julia roberts and danny moder
elizabeth taylor and eddie fisher
kobe bryant
woody allen and his former step-daughter soon-yi previn (ICK!)
jude law
tom cruise and penelope cruz
marc anthony and j.lo
shannon elizabeth
meg ryan and russell crowe
chad michael murray
i could probably go on for a while. they won't get any sympathy from me. they better just button up those lips and dry those eyes in interviews on E! and just talk about the next project they have in the works. i can't handle anymore celebs milking their lack of honesty and commitment as "true love" and "what a hard time they were going through". blah blah blah. i am emotionally severing myself from celebrity personal lives. except for reading blogs about celebrities, writing blogs about celebrities, reading magazines, watching tv entertainment news programs, chatting with friends about celebrities, and watching a zillion pseudo awards shows about celebrities. a girl's got to have a hobby, right?
furthermore, if anything happens to gwen and gavin and tim and faith, i will probably start wearing acid washed jeans and splatter paint t-shirts in protest of the lack of reverence for marriage. so, to the rosdales and the mcgraws, please don't make me take my threat to heart!






love it!!! makes me warm and fuzzy like drinking hot cocoa and reading dear abby!





so cute i could puke my guts out!


speaking of puking my guts out... doesn't k-fed look a little too much like vanilla ice in these shots?



i listened to a few minutes of k-fed's album "playing with fire" and a few minutes was all i needed. i am not rap aficionado, but i do know that GOOD rap is more that just swearing, talking about drinking and smoking and making lewd and lascivious comments about women and that was all i heard on his album. but since most new rap these days is about swearing, talking about drinking and smoking, and making lewd and lascivious comments about women, if he weren't mr. britney spears, he would fit right in and be ultra succesful.

FINALLY.......
happy birthday to emily jean hansen curfew!
can you believe this was 5 years ago?

what if i chose to be heidi simpbeck?

Gernaat -- Pratt



Holly Gernaat of McBain, Mich., and Bob Pratt of Lamoni, Iowa, were united in marriage in an informal beach wedding Aug. 12, 2006, at Park of the Pines Community of Christ Reunion Grounds near Boyne City, Mich. Evangelist Carman Thompson officiated at the double-ring ceremony.



Mr. and Mrs. Bob Pranaat

The bride is the daughter of Sharon Gernaat of McBain and the late Bud Gernaat.
The bridegroom is the son of Dan and Susie Pratt of Lamoni, formerly of Blue Springs, and the grandson of Dan and Jean Wheeler of Independence .
Laurel Tacoma assisted the bride as maid of honor, with Kim Smith as bridesmaid.
Casey Cardwell served as best man, with Andi Chatburn serving as groomswoman.
The reception was held at Park of the Pines.
The bride received a Bachelor of Arts with honors, majoring in religion with minors in church leadership and Spanish from Graceland University, Lamoni, in May 2006. She is working as an intern at Amnesty International in Chicago, and the Illinois Math and Science Academy in Aurora, Ill.
The bridegroom received a Bachelor of Arts majoring in liberal studies and minoring in church leadership and chemistry from Graceland University in May 2006. He is working at Illinois Math and Science Academy in Aurora.
A honeymoon is planned for December 2006 to Mexico.
Holly and Bob have chosen to honor the traditions and history of both of their names by combining them into their own last name "Pranaat"

i often check the blue springs examiner, my hometown paper, for engagement and wedding listings of people i might know. i DON'T know these people and i am grateful for that. they just sound weird. why in the world would you choose to "honor" both last names, by completely obliterating both of them? would it have been better and easier to trace a lineage if they had just hyphenated their names into holly and bob gernaat-pratt? thoughts?
signed-heidi simpbeck

more signs of the apocalypse

i really enjoy most types of music, but lately one genre has really sparked my interest...ADULT CONTEMPORARY! you know, dentist office music. the radio station selection here in fun-gomery is ample with a plethora of country, rock, rap, and pop stations. then why am i so drawn to easy listening stations? i don't drive a mini-van, i don't wear pants up to my neck with an elastic waist, i don't wear overalls or have mom hair like this lady:














so what's the deal? is mainstream "popular" music so bad that my ear taste buds are soured by such delectable hits like lil' scrappy's "money in the bank"? that song is genius. (please note heavy use of sarcasm.) it's not just rap that has sucked since the demise of tupac. what is the deal with all of the whiny voiced punk bands? they are catchy and fun for the first 700 listens, then they are just grating on the ears like knives slipping on fine china(or if you have children, the sound of winnie the pooh's singing voice on his shaper sorter car). please, no more green day's american idiot album. it's just insulting really. and i don't even need to mention jessica simpson, fergie, nelly furtado(promiscuous girl? you might as well be singing "gonnorhea, i am unclean") blah to all of that. please britney jean, summon all that you had on such brilliance as "lucky" and "hit me baby one more time" and resusicitate pop music.(should there be sarcasm here?)
so back to my point, last week when i was cruising montgomery with a baby and a huge carseat with a sippy cup in hand and goldfish crackers stuck to his shirt(face, neck roll, seat belt, upholstery), what was i singing along to? "briiiing me a higher love! WOO OHH." what is that, steve winwood circa 1987?
also, can i admit on this personal forum of views that i really like lionel richies new love song? i'm not sure of the name, but the chorus is something like this, "he calls it, she calls it, they call it loooove." i get excited when i hear it! phil collins too! sususudio.

lionel

phil

steve















i am really hoping that blue october(save me tonight), the killers and other excellent bands of that genre can rescue me from this lite easy sounds of the 80's, 90's and today slump that i am in.

i am interested in purchasing a certain pair of shoes. perhaps you have seen them before. they have been seen on many celebs already this year. they are tall wooden platform shoes with black leather and an ankle tie. definitely a fun shoe for a fun mom. of course, i am not going to pay the $700+ for the "chloe"version, so i am looking for a good knockoff. i went to my trusty friend ebay and i saw that the actual "chloe" runway picture was used on the description. excitedly i clicked on the listing. i scrolled down the ad and i read the info, only $10!? it was too good to be true. could a knockoff really look that close to the original and be SO cheap? well, i got the cheap part right.

this is the runway picture used on the ebay listing!!! so delicious!
















this is the crap they are peddling to unsuspecting ebayers under the guise of something else.


and these are the best deal i can find so far, and they are still $70. and they are jessica simpson, which i normally have issues with. desperate times mean desperate measures.














and these are some of the most hidieous shoes i have ever seen. please take them out to pasture and put them out of their misery.

jeffrey sebelia, the anti-christ

run for cover kiddies, the end of the world is near. jeffrey sebelia, the 36 year-old cry baby rock star wannabe won project runway. yuck. poop and pee mixed together. his pants are so tight that i do not know how it was possible for him to father a child. and he had this perpetual dirtiness to him. the neck tatto, the greasy, greasy unwashed hair, the pale pastiness of his skin. to his credit, i do think that he showed a good collection. as the judges said, there was a lot of continuity among the pieces and it was quite interesting. upon further review, i thought that some of the pieces looked EXQUISITELY well made, while others looked like squirrels with seam rippers got to them: unfinished hems, skiwampos lines, bulging. my final verdict, more items than not were made by someone other than jeffrey. don't believe me? check out the impressively intricate seams and hems on this outfit:
look closer here








jeffrey's worst piece. i don't even know how to begin to describe it. fishing nets over a flannel blanket? is that round piece supposed to be a bullseye so we know where to shoot her?





laura:
a breath of fresh air for her; a rich, deep, glitzy nighttime breath. still very "laura", but interesting. a few risks but mostly beautifully made stuff. if it works, stick with it.

i wish i could have found a back shot of this dress. loved how the belt went over the low back. yummy! and the two colors together were a great contrast. they both looked like more vibrant colors while they are both really just glorified neutrals.





uli:
bienvenidos a miami!!! her best stuff ever. i was sort of tired of here long flowy halter neck dresses. but, like laura, it is her best stuff. i really wanted her to win, especially since i was so surprised at some of the things that she threw out there. consistent were her "easy", loose, flowy, fabrics, but new were her cleaner lines on some pieces and more solids that i ever though possible for her.


my absolute fave!!! i audibly gasped when she came down the runway. and then the sarong was removed!!! it looked like a miami cocktail dress! and then a swimsuit and sarong??? working double duty has never been more appealing! lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove!!!





michael:
my analysis: he is great and wonderful, but he needs to just go with it and not try too hard. that is the feeling i got from most of the collection. i was thinking a little too ghetto fab for fashion week. but, someone like mary j. blige would look HOTHOTHOT in his stuff. i can see him working for sean john. too bad this collection was a little too j.lo.


michael's best one. it looks effortless, but intricate. i want to wear this. at closer look, this is linen, satan's fabric. but it is cut so well, that is flows like silk sans all the wrinkliness of linen.

summer! i think the ice cream question put me over the top!

You Are Summer!

Outgoing Friendly Flirty Cute Fun

What Season Are You?

who wears short shorts?

from this angle, my legs look like two cuts of beef hanging in a meat locker.











my skin is SOOO sooper sensitive. because of this, i can only use a few types of lotion along with my medicated lotion. one that i have discovered that doesn't irritate my skin is vaseline intensive care. they have several different varieties, including nightly renewal and FIRMING and radiance(great for post-baby!)!!! on a whim i bought the healthy body glow formula. the label indicates that if i use it for one week, i will notice a difference in color. never one to turn down a challenge, i tried it. for one week i used it on one of my legs and used a non-color changing lotion on the other. can you tell which leg i used it on?

tiny taste of heaven

you know what is GREAT? my cookie recipe. i just ate a bunch of them last night and this morning and i think that i have found my own little bit of perfection. i used my mother's recipe and then modified it a bit based on several laboratory experiments and intense taste tests.







heidi's peanut buttah cookie dough yummy in my tummy cookie recipe:
1 cup melted REAL buttah-don't cheat your taste buds with margarine or vegetable spread
1 cup white sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
MIX WELL
add 2 tsps vanilla and 2 eggs
continue to mix
add 2-3 large spoonfulls of peanut buttah, to your taste, continue to blend
add 1 tsp baking soda and 2 cups flour.
mixmixmix
finally, add 1 bag MILK chocolate chips. mix until thoroughly mixed.
spoon onto greased cookie sheets. you can make them large or small. bake at 350 degrees for 8-9 minutes. larger cookies should be baked for 9. remove from oven and allow to bake themselves for another minute on cookie sheet. remove from cookie sheet onto wire rack. ENJOY! try not to eat all of them at one. should be a bit gooey after baking, hence the name peanut buttah COOKIE DOUGH yummy in my tummy cookies.

we have had a special request for a pic of my new hair. well, i wish i had a pic of "new" hair, but this is what i have now. pretty much a trim of my old hair cut. the color is only a smidge lighter. but, good news is that it is about a gabillion times healthier. i guess next time i will need to be more specific about a more drastic change. the bangs are weaker than i wanted and i need to get hair extensions to be more hilary-esque. but i tried.

yes i am wearing an apron. don't hate, appreciate.







*greetings to new reader valoree. you now have found out about my secret life! you are such a nice, sweet person that i hope my rude comments don't offend you!

i talk good!

*you will probably think that i am a grammar jerk after reading this. please forgive me.
recently i've noticed that there are more than a few grammatical errors that drive me nuts.
for example:
questioner: "how are you?"
respondent: "i'm good."
NO. it is not possible for a person to be "good." you can be good at something, or have good qualities, but the state of being is either fine or well. am i guilty of this? yes, sometimes. but i am working on it.
gripe number 2:
"i have 3 brother-in-laws."
NO. you have 3 brotherS-in-law,(also, BookS of Mormon). this is tricky. this one had to be pointed out to me and i, of course, had to act like i didn't care. am i guilty of this? not anymore.
gripe number 3:
"Missourah"
NO. where is this "missourah" you speak of? the only thing i see on the map is missourI!
gripe number 4:
"what is the heighth of that table?"
NO! there is no TH in height!
gripe number 5:
"strenth"
i think pronouncing strength as strenth is more of a southern dialect rather than an error. full points for you if you saw strenth.
gripe number 6:
" did you read the latest issue of the en-sin?"
the name of the magazine for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the Ensign, pronounced N-ZYne. now you know. and ensign (en-sin) is a military rank. when i was little i thought it was pronounced en-sig-nah.

Note: by request, thomas edited this post. though i may be a grammar jerk, i am yet imperfect and must refer to the grammar nazi for editing help.