Saturday, August 30, 2008

fashion craptacular

looks i hate and no one should wear. EVER. PERIOD.

pegged baggy pants. or if you lived in my neck of the woods you referred to them as tight rolled. how many of you have been waiting patiently for awful to come back in style? besides those people that show up at wal-mart and the tire store completely unkempt and unwashed??? please, for the love of your thighs, don't make them look any worse by bringing ALL the attention to them in the worst way possible. if you love your thighs, show off your svelte goodness with a fitted pant or skirt. if you hate your thighs, camouflage them with a fitted pant or skirt that just skims your body and wear a fun accessory or shirt to take away the attention from your thighs. ballooning them out with layers of distressed denim is not the solution. neither is emphasizing them by creating a smaller ankle silhoutte. barf on you katie holmes. you are NOT avant garde. you are not creative. can you remember 1986? this was the last time this was cool and it wasn't flattering then either.

booties. they make me think of small socks for tennis or cooties. or butts for that matter. yuck town. there is a small place in the fashion world for booties. small. miniscule. if you want to look like you have bloated ankles or are 2 feet shorter, go get yourself a pair and then wear them to a warrant or quiet riot concert with your faded and fringed denim jacket. or if you are really feeling good about yourself and want to bring yourself down a notch or two, pair the booties with ill-fitting, rolled up khaki pants and a barely-held-on-with-a-smidgen-of-fabric-shirt that you just picked up off the floor a la keira knightly.

slippery looking plastic leggings and corsets. instead of singing the boys are back in town, i feel like i should be singing, the whores are back in town. besides the fact that i find the pussycat dolls insipid, disgusting, untalented and dead behind the eyes, they perpetuate the theory that women who dress like tramps and sing(read=whine, talk/sing, growl and breathe heavily) about sex are "free" and "liberated" and "proud of their sexuality". no gracias. and the leggings and corsets do nothing for them either. unless you are running in a 10k in the dead of winter and you need plastic pants to keep you warm, don't. wear. them. and corsets??? how "free" are you when you can't even take a breathe from the bottom of your lungs???

the booties, tights and dancewear combo. how seasonally illogical is this?



tights under shorts=completely uncomfortable

zip up track jacket with short sleeves=sweaty looking

gray tank top=lawn mower chic

poop soup=hilary