Wednesday, September 27, 2006

oh, the possibilities are endless!!!

here are my current thoughts on my hair:
i am a hilary duff fan. i also love her hair. i like how she is branching out from the white blonde and the medium brown trend that she has been sporting into an all over golden blonde. is this the option for me? the cut wouldn't be too drastic, but the color would really be fun. i don't think it would be too much to maintain and the bangs are long enough to pin out of my face if i needed to.

these last pictures i found on a website touting the "latest" styles.

whaddya think? are these possible options for me? i think 1987 called and they want their hair back. or possibly it was a site for NKOTB fans that want to reunite.

OR is it a site a for street walkers and strippers to showcase what has been working for them? does this picture not SCREAM, "male jennifer aniston impersonator!!!"?

the chick wearing the glasses is truly misguided. however, the glasses do remind me of a pair that i used to have back in the georgeff-baker junior high school days. is this my long lost sister? and if you are wondering, i have no shame. i am not embarassed that is truly my eighth grade school picture. admit it, you all loved those choker necklaces too!

Monday, September 25, 2006

you're in the soup!

the soup. friday nights. 9pm. on E! the best 30 minutes of television all week. why do you ask? because it condenses everything funny, ridiculous, stoopid, illogical, unbelievable and inappropriate that is on tv into one short program. of course it is still fun to watch television programs in their entirety, but the commentary by joel mchale paints a new perspective on any show. with excellent segments such as ,"chicks, man", "reality show clip time" and "chat stew", one will never be bored with the witty and sometimes laugh out loud hilarious program analysis. don't be fooled by imitators such as VH1's best week ever. only accept the original product. as a word of warning: the chelsea handler show comes on after the soup. do NOT watch that program. i repeat, DO NOT WATCH THE CHELSEA HANDLER SHOW. the only way to get that 100% not funny, humor insulting show off the air is to avoid it at all costs!

a final thought. cameron diaz. what is going on with you? i am sick(upchuck in my throat)sick(feeling cold and clammy)!SICK!(praising the porcelain god) of your frumpy hair. it has taken me a LONG time to try and like you. i have found you somewhat disheveled. but you eventually won me over into a period of tolerance. but your "look" is what drives me crazy! i know you are a cool, laid back, tree hugging, global warming alarmist, hybrid car driving california girl, but you can still do something with you hair! brushes don't hurt the environment. i love messy 'dos, but only if the look purposeful. this is inexcusable. you had some foresight into what you wore. this corset top dress didn't just jump on your body. and those red christian louboutins? those are really in right now so you obviously care a little bit about fashion. even if your stylist picked them out, you at least have a stylist! if you can drop $400 on shoes, you can at least slick your hair into a pony tail. JT is bringing sexyback. you are not.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

tonight tonight toniiiiight, wooo, ohhh!

thank you to phil collins for the introduction.
today we have a very special treat. due to a special request from among my legions on fans, today's post will be dedicated to the office(cue music)duh DAH da dah deh duh dun dun duh duh duh deh, dun DAH da dah deh de.......

where does one truly begin in an analysis of the office? it is like describing a perfect, beautiful sunrise. somethings are best said in pictures.

as i have anticipated this season, i have tried to hypothesize the season's direction. i have come up with many a conjecture. at this time, i will describe a few. the first question we need to answer is, Jim and Pam. what in the world is going to happen with them? having the knowledge of the season finale, my original idea won't work. i had thought that possibly, roy could have cheated on pam, therefore ending the engagement. this option would have allowed for the jim/pam drama/angst to continue without ruining the comedic nature and tone of the show. my biggest fear is that the new season will showcase the jim/pam relationship and ignore all of the idiosyncrasies that make the show so special.

nevertheless, even with jim and pam kissing in the season 2 finale, we have some new issues to deal with. in the dispute mediation episode, it came to light that toby hadn't been filing any of dwight's grievances with jim. he had only been boxing them up. when dwight finds this out(being assistant TO the regional manager), he demands that michael either transfer or fire jim. jim takes the opportunity to interview with michael's woman jan for a better position. we already know from previews that jim will continue to be with the dunder mifflin scranton office, but we do not know to what capacity. my thought is perhaps jim was offered the better position, but it was with the office that was ultimately downsized. the threat of downsizing has always been there since season 1.

another issue is that of jan and michael. there was OBVIOUS disappointment on the side of jan when she saw that michael had another date at casino night. will she now forever be a woman scorned? will michael, the little kid lover, get date offers from other women on his online dating account?

furthermore, will ryan the temp ever be ryan the full-timer or is business school just a pipe dream for him? and if he IS hired on, what kind of new tension will develop between him and dwight(waylon smithers)?

finally, (well, not really, but i do try and have an outside life other than blogging,)what about dwight and angela? my thoughts were for a while that angela would be the one that roy cheats with because of some statements he had made during the firedrill about her being the "uptight Christian", but with a "hot a**". hmmm, still a possibility.
one more thing. will oscar ever be "outed" in the office? will merideth ever get a vodka IV put in her veins? will toby and michael ever duke it out? where can i buy a scrantonicity album? there is no such thing as "one more thing" and the office.
for real this time...i spent a few minutes researching photos for the blog. there are some crazy women out there who LUST for john krasinski's(jim halpert) body. yikes. pretty scary. i wonder if he is afraid. i am afraid for him.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

maurice clarett's cell of dreams

isn't it a little ironic that the same week that gridiron gang is #1 at the box office, maurice clarett is sentenced to three and a half years in prison. also, in all the pictures i have seen of ol' maurice in his prison jumpsuit, he seems pretty pleased with himself. a few things come to mind:
1. does maurice not realize that prison isn't the best place for him to play football again?
2. does america want to see maurice play football in prison? would we be willing to pay cash money to see prisoners play football? would the rock be willing to coach?
3. how does one address the rock? "hello, rock", "hello, the rock"? is there anyone gutsy enough to say "hello, dwayne"? when i say dwayne, i want hold my nose to make my voise more nasaly(if that's possible) and say dwayne wayne. dwayne is incomplete to me without wayne. thank you a different world.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

mary kate and ashley and hilary duff, oh my!

i don't know if anyone else has noticed this, but pre-teen mainstays mary kate and ashley and hilary duff have "designed" their own low priced clothing lines. while i applaud the likes of wal-mart and target for stepping up their pre-teen fashions, i wonder why this couldn't have happened, say, 14 years ago? you know, when i was struggling with the junior high issues of dorky clothes and insecurities? i don't recall anything that the 1992 wal-mart had to offer being remotely acceptable. i recall one day when i wore a jacket from wal-mart. i thought it was cute, but i was afraid that is screamed "WAL-MART"! so i wore it with apprehension. i just knew that everyone was talking about me that day. all the whispers were..."wal-mart jacket...wal-mart jacket...WAL-MART JACKET!" then to completely frost my cake, at church on sunday i saw a MOM wearing the same wal-mart jacket. UTTER MORTIFICATION! i ownded a mom jacket! of course, i could never wear the jacket again. i felt awful. i knew it was a waste of money to wear something only once (i only have paris hilton's lazy eye, i don't have the same shopping habits), but the jacket was now cursed. TABOO. what if i wore it again and i saw a (gasp) teacher wearing one too? so, i gave it to my mother. she is a saint. she didn't even ask questions. thank goodness. attending junior high is bad enough. explaining why i couldn't wear the wal-mart mom jacket again would have put me over the top.
back to the original point of this post. all of these clothes are MKA or hilary duff. so cute! why don't they have these for adults? i am WAY past being afraid to wear wal-mart clothes!

mary kate and ashley

mary kate and ashley

stuff by hilary duff

mary kate and ashley

mary kate and ashley

yesterday i spent mucho timo selecting a new "skin" for my blog. i personalized it and painstakingly loved it and basically spent my entire nap time free time on the blog. then i posted it and guess what? the comment option would not work. so i spent more time remedying the problem, but to no avail. so as of right now we are stuck with the boring blog. but this is the pic that i was going to use to frame my heidiluxe title. please use your imagination now.....

Friday, September 15, 2006


the countdown has begun. on saturday september 7th, i am getting my hair cut at the illustrious gilded cage in waycross, ga. i have realized that one of my worst habits is getting my hair cut only two or three times a year. i don't know why i always feel awkward or uncomfortable when i go to a salon, but i do. and i hate the idle chatter i have to make. i would rather sit in silence so that i knew the stylist was concentrating. plus, i hate tipping. i always feel that i need to WAY over tip. i think i am subconcsiously hoping for the haircut karma to bless my hair to be smooth and full and easily styleable.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

i love fashion week

i think that scarlett johannsen is hiding the fact that she is pregnant, out the back of her head. and she made her dress with a bedazzler. carmen electra? scarlett o'hara resurrected with anne of avonlea's hairstyle.

when we were kids, my older brother steve and i would play "guess that gender". i think the game is self explanatory. hopefully you can piece together why i made this jared leto's caption. i am not a fan of skinny pants, especially on males. this is too reminiscent of david bowie's gender bending ziggy stardust. and i HATE those clogs on anyone over 12. plus from the waist up i feel like i should ask him to check all my fluid levels after my oil change. mechanic chic?

i am paris hilton? sweet caroline sent me this picture. i love her to bits! but my first thought was that one of my eyes looks "heavier" than the other, a la paris hilton. i have always been a little self conscious about "righty" but i tried to let it go. not a big deal mostly just something to laugh good naturedly about. maybe i will try and enter some paris hilton look alike contests. you know, carry meatball around in a purse, stand awkwardly, smile seductively with my sleepy eye.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

i sing the library blues

the only thing that would make this photo better is if steve spurrier was still coaching florida. hurray for the bulldogs and their beat down of south carolina. but, i must say, spurrier is the kind of coach that i love to hate. ruining his no shut out since 1987 record...priceless. makes for a happy simpson home.

thomas has been instrumental in my football conversion process. i have always liked football, but it was usually limited to about one game a week. now i find myself turning on games to watch by myself. yikes! who am i?
other thoughts for today:
i went to the main public library today. i am hosting the ward book club at my house tonight and i was needing to see if there were more copies of the selected book. first of all, the library is in a ROUGH part of town. it is just a few blocks from out chapel. they keep our chapel locked up tight most of the time and they have people patrolling the parking lot during activities. does that paint a clear picture? secondly, the layout and selection was not good. confusing. few books. i asked the children's librarian where they kept the board books because i searched and searched and could not find any. she led me to a 1 foot by 2 foot bookshelf with 2 board books on it. great. thanks! so i head to the card catalog and start searching for books for the club and for leisure reading. nothing was available at this branch so i just start wandering around picking up a few things. i go to check out. i informed the man that i needed to get a library card since i had just moved to town. i figured that since september is national library card month, it should be no problem. he asked for id. he took one look at my driver's license and asked if it was my current address. no, it was from my tuscaloosa address. then he said that he would need two forms of id with my current address on it. hello??? have you been to the dmv lately? no one renews their license just to update their address. hassel-city. all i had was my checkbook with my new address on it. at this point i am thinking, "do i look like a book stealer?" he was adamant that he could do nothing for me without two forms of id with my current address. he suggested a utility bill. or my lease. RIGHT! i carry those around with me for occasions such as this! not really. picked up reagan and left at that point. i didn't even say anything else to him, i was so mad! sure, it was a very petty situation. i overreacted. at least i didn't give him the same attitude he gave me. i walked out the door and started crying. i am such a baby. even worse, i am still mad about it. my period must be starting soon. that is the only logical explanation. i came home and ate two large bowls of ice cream. another good period indicator.
finally, what is the deal with my new blog? where are my titles? i have searched high and low for a title option, but it is just not to be found. one more thing, why in the world can't i load pictures from the internet. i had to add steve spurrier to my photo album. i am no computer expert, but these are basics i am struggling with today. HELP!

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

she's so lucky, she's a star...

so, hurray for britney spears. our gal brit gave birth to her second boy early this morning. as a mother who makes mistakes daily, i have a soft spot in my heart for her. the media and other complete strangers are harsh. yes, my mistakes are not broadcast everywhere, and yes, her mistakes are often completely against what i consider common sense. however, i still want her to succeed. i think that will include dropping the "federline" part of her life. in it's entirety. no more hangers on for her. except for jamie and lynn and jamie lynn and her older brother and now her two sons and bit bit and felicia the assistant. plus the entire town of kentwood, louisiana and of course the manny. but no more k-fed bizness! go find yourself a good male with a paying job of his own that he earned on his own merit. that is all. actually, i have much more to say on the subject, but there are only so many hours in the day. okay, okay, one final comment: "brit, get a stylist and listen to her! all the time, even when you are just getting coffee or test driving new cars. as a southern girl you should know that you don't go anywhere without a full face of well-applied make-up and heels on your feet. daisy dukes are for gardening and jessica simpson. you can make a spectacular comeback!!!"
do you think she heard that?

Monday, September 11, 2006

carpe diem!

i have wanted to start my own personal insight and commentary blog for a long time. i made today the day. carpe diem! this blog will be full of things that i think about everyday. it may be odd, or rambling, or plain silly but who is to say those are bad things? nothing in this blog is meant to offend, but i will be brutally honest.
first item of business:
what is the deal with fergie of the black eyed peas? she is off the charts on the skank-o-meter. her new song is monotonous and vile. how is her song #9 on the VH1 countdown? i thought "my humps" was bad enough; i never thought she could get infinitely worse by losing her bandmates, (the term "band" used loosely.)
this brings me to my second point:
should we create a term for a group of people that get together to make music, but play no intruments? choir canotes a non-pop format. what about "muop"(moo-ohp), short for musical group? thoughts?