Sunday, November 12, 2006

the fall of the house of spederline

the most important entertainment news of the year is here, and it takes me a week to blog about it? forgive me. travel, illness, extensive research on the subject have delayed my blogging. BRITNEY FILED FOR DIVORCE! i typed that with such GLEE! with the utmost amount of relish a keyboard will allow! when i heard the news i couldn't stop screaming like a beehive girl at the thought of her first stake dance! (sorry nat, i hope your ears have recovered.)
where do i begin? i guess i could give thanks. thank goodness britney came to her senses after only two years, instead of whitney houston's 13 years with bobby brown. thanks to lynn spears for insisting on the 60 page pre-nuptial agreement that pretty much limits fed-ex to $300,000 cash, no gifts over $10,000 and half the malibu mansion(on the market for $13 million, approximately 6ish mill would go to kev.) sheer brilliance. i must give thanks to much music canada, which filmed the exact moment that fed-ex was texted with the divorce news. i am so glad that we could all share that moment together. and of course, joel mchale of the soup, whose humor and wit helped carry my wounded soul through the last two years of hardship and hilarious wannabe rapper-isms.
i have my own ideas on why this divorce happened now and the events that led up to the divorce. first of all, reported in december of 2005, just months after little sean preston was born, kevin is rumored to have been forced to move out into a hotel. this is based on claims of smoking, cigarettes and other smokeable things, in the house around sean p. also, a contributing factor to that marriage hiatus is kev's excessive partying(with female friends) and constant spending of brit's cash. only britney is allowed to make ridiculous purchases with britney's money. divorce could have been impending doom for the federlines at this point, but brit's pride was still inact(loosely intact, being held together by a weak bikini top spaghetti strap) and then of course she got knocked up again.

that kevin must be quite irresistable. another factor to the breakup is kevin's so-called rap career. that could break down any marriage. the constant promotion of the album has led to little time together as a family. in fact, i cannot recall seeing britney and kevin together for at least the last six months. anyone??? and britney doesn't seem to be very skilled at avoiding the paparazzi, so that cannot be used as an excuse. i truly believe that britney did not file paperwork on the divorce until last week so that jayden james could be born within the bonds of holy matrimony and that she wanted to see kev succeed in his rap career so he would have some sort of income or accomplishment to show his kids and the world. too bad that didn't happen. maybe he will be big in japan or germany. like david hasselhoff. or so that he couldn't blame his failure on her and sue for defamation or something legalese. these are all just ideas of course.
britney future looks very bright at this point. people everywhere are pulling for her to make a comeback. i just can't wait to see her abs in a few months. i hope they are killer. babies will do crazy things to your muscle tone.
will we ever see this again???

a token picture of britney in a hat. probably the best one ever since she always INSISTS on wearing them and they never look good.

one of my fave pics of brit, pure as the driven snow.

"now which one of my 17 kids are you? oh good, you've got your name on your shirt. thanks! now if i can only get the others to do the same."

here's the game: let's try and guess who britney's new beau will be. i give her 6 months to find someone new. any ideas???

a last thought: how long will it take for kevin to blow through his divorce settlement? and what will be the first ridiculous thing that he buys, post-divorce?


Jessica said...

i was thinking the other day that her manny seemed like a really nice, good guy. maybe she could go for someone responsible with kids for next time. just a thought.

Valoree said...

I am so glad you finally wrote about this. I knew you would be all over it!

Will & Natalie Giddens said...

I can't STAND K-Fed!! Seriously, if there ever was a loser, it is him. What a tool! I hope he falls back into the dump where she found him.

And I know you love Miss Brit, but she has a heckuva lot of damage control to take care of before she gets back in MY good graces! (Which, as we all know, is her major concern at this point)

Meghan said...

thanks for the update, I can always count on you for your unbiased opinion of Brit and Kev. By the way, did you hear about Brit's Sharon Stone impression in "basic instinct" while getting out of a car while partying with gal pals Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan? It's disgusting what people will do for publicity.