really random

i was pretty proud of myself for putting together a head to toe look NOT comprising of anything from target. and i love me some target. their inexpensive but current fashions dominate my closet. occasionally, as a personal challenge to myself, i try to pull outfits together sans target. call it sartorial stretching.

cardigan- loft

blouse- tj maxx

shorts- gap

shoes- amanda smith

tote- gigi hill

other things skills i am trying to stretch are my healthy eating skillz and increase my fitness performance(i'm semi-pro, right?). i've been eating oatmeal with a pinch of brown sugar and a handful of blueberries for breakie.and a cold chicken breast and parmesan for lunch/post workout protein. almost as much fun as not eating. in fact i'll go not eat right now and just laugh and laugh. but, if anyone has a good protein shake, i'm taking suggestions. really. has anyone tried casein protein peanut butter chocolate and live to tell?

cardigan=movie theater

we saw cars 2. not as good as the first one. but really, what is?

this was really random. the end.

outfit math plus a side pony

i like all the colors and elements of this outfit(and a side pony to boot!) but i think it falls under the either/or principle. either your top needs to be fitted and your bottom flowy or vice versa. and my belt needs to be more narrow because i think the width and darkness of this one makes my waist seem thicker. for me, i think a more fitted bottom is better because i can disguise my complete lack of bust and very narrow shoulders under a looser top better than covering my wide hips with full pleats. pleats over curves just translates as bigger rather than more trim. am i boring you yet?

this is like outfit math:

 which proportion is most flattering on you? carry the one, multiply by pi, add a side ponytail even though you are way too old for those shenanigans and then thank your lucky stars that you passed basic math one week before graduating college and then wonder how you ever got a job in finance. oops, not your life story? just mine? 

blouse- charlotte russe

belt- new york and company(really old)

skirt- banana republic(hemmed)

shoes- thrifted

i also find that if i stand at an angle, my hips are minimized and that's always a good thing. there is better silhouette definition and my waist looks smaller. okay, i'll stop already. i'm boring myself.

ole!

straight outta costco

if we are facebook friends, then you already know my big news from this week. i killed a snake in my garage with just my bare hands(bare hands gripping a shovel that i hacked the poor thing up with). that's how tough i am. normally i wouldn't kill woodland animals, but scarlett was off the heezy about of it and i figured that if i ever want to have the kids go in the garage again, i need to be able to say that i took care of the snake problem. but when it comes down to it, i AM hardcore. i'm badder than bad. next on my list is to get all my teeth capped gold and spell out my name in rhinestones a la flavor flav.

but i ain't straight outta compton, i'm straight outta costco.

dress- target

vest- wal*mart

shoes- target

the funny thing is, the rappers who started gangsta rap and all that have gone soft(not that i'm complaining).

take snoop dogg. he did a christmas episode with big time rush on teen nick. for real. that makes me shake in my boots.

and ice cube. from founding member of NWA to kids comedy movie star.

and ice-t. his new reality show debuts this summer. it's about his happy with life with his former video vixen wife.

ice loves coco? from the man who brought us cop killer?

these guys make seth green look like suge knight.

speaking of seth green, if you haven't seen his version of cribs, you need to follow this link. i apologize but embedding was disabled on this particular clip. but it is worth the click and the 2 minutes and 45 seconds that it takes to watch. he may just be the new dave ramsey.

seth green cribs

the non-compliment compliment

i love a good non-compliment. like when someone is trying really hard to say something nice to you, but they can't formulate the words and they don't really want to endorse anything. i appreciate the effort.

 a few of my faves:

"look at you!"

"only you could pull that off!"

"you are on another level!"
"you are really wearing that!"
"you march to your own drummer!"

or when you are looking particularly wacky and someone simply says,

"hello!"

or if you are wearing bright orange pants,

"hello orange pants!"

maybe i dress weird enough that i'm the only one who has people say things like this to them? anybody?

i think i was rather tame today. ladylike even.

hat- bakers

t shirt- kohls

belt- fossil

skirt- thrifted

shoes- amanda smith

and happy father's day to thomas. the only person allowed to make fun of my clothes. that's love.

street cred

my favorite everythings:

friday night activity-downtown with the whole fam damily

skirt- jcrew

weather- breezy summer evening

after the kids are asleep activity- going through the kid's candy bags from the general store and stealing all the best candy

impassable trail lose 10 days

i'm pretty sure i would have made a terrible pioneer. i went running last saturday in a relatively wooded area and i got eaten ALIVE by skeeters, so i had to wear pants today, 3 days later. i look pretty nast-ay from the knees down. i can't imagine what i would have been like pulling a handcart across the plains.

shirt- thrifted

pants- target

sandals- bakers

even though my outdoorsy skillz are minimal, i alway ROCKED oregon trail in elementary school. i was the first person in my class to make it all the way to oregon.

my favorite and yours too:

 

bustedtees

kids are so spoiled today with their 3D graphics. i had hours of fun with this cutting edge one-dimensional harbinger of death game.

things that never get old

this shirt never gets old. no matter how many people i see wearing it.

no matter the combination,
 be it tucked,

knotted,

open,

buttoned,

or

layered.

i'll save it forever for scarlett to wear to school someday when they are having "dress like the 2010s day" for spirit week.

button up- gap

dress- target

shoes- target

i may be too old to swing on the swing set though:

other things that don't get old?

zack morris:

christy turlington burns:


dumb and dumber:


twinkies:


and things that got old FAST?

lindsay lohan:

don't do drugs. REALLY.

man! i feel like a woman

t shirt- kohl's(interestingly enough, i don't like soda. i'm one of those people.)

chambray skirt- belk(old)

shoes- target

i already sweat like a man.

i already eat like a man.

(and i have the sense of humor of a pre-pubescent boy)
now i smell like one too.

but that's good. because i prefer men's cologne to the cloying smell of women's perfume any day.

i was at el wal*mercado yesterday looking for the (isopropyl) alcohol and i happened upon this facewash with a coupon sticking to it. some kind soul had clipped the coupon out of the pennysaver and attached it to a bottle of nivea for men facewash. apparently they hadn't planned on using it and just wanted to pass along the good deal. $2 off! boom. i hope they were sharing it. nevertheless, i picked it up and walked away quickly.

i enjoy a good nivea product and good smelling men's product so i used it this morning and i loved smelling my face all day. it was like i was on a date with myself all day. i'd date me. we'd go somewhere nice too. not like that guy that took me on a date to climb a water tower.

roughing it

cookin on the grill with air dried hair and no make-up. everyone needs to have a rest day and this day is my version of roughing it.

t shirt- target

skirt- thrifted

sandals- bakers

sunglasses- franco sarto via tjmaxx

my favorite feature in lucky magazine is based on the style blog my mom the style icon. people send in photos of their mother in their heyday with stories about how they inspired them sartorially. the photos i took today while is was cooking up weiners(buzzword of the week, right?) reminded me of old pictures of my mom in college. the smoky haze from my grill, the 70s quality of the images, the long skirt. only my mom is so naturally lovely she has never needed make-up. she's just good and wonderful and well-intentioned all the time. and she expects the best out of everyone. we also weren't allowed to say butt and crap at our house growing up. we got a stern look if we ever implied that someone "tooted". we had to sit on our fanny and only say nice things to each other and never even think about any type of rude bodily function. it was a really wonderful childhood.

oy vey! my air dried hair is so wrong it will never be right.



the longest post about nothing of consequence

i got my hairs did yesterday. it had been nearly 1 year since i had a haircut. i don't know why i do this is myself. this is before:

not bad, but about 4 inches of scraggle.

and this is the picture i brought for inspiration(ignore the blindingly ample bosom, if you can.):

and after:

wah wah, fail. i don't know why i always expect anything but a flat mom hair helmet, but that's what i get everytime. i don't even ask for it! i want wild! i want beachy southern debutante! and i get blah. and that is why i only get my hair cut once a year. the horrible fear of flat, bland hair.

on another note, after i put my boring hair up in a lifeless, no personality bun, thomas and i had a real deal date and we ended up at target looking at birthday presents for scarlett and books for us. all the paperback romances were 25% off!

and wouldn't you know it, rob lowe has the blogger pose DOWN!

 i did not realize that i was pointing right at his personal bizness. completely inadvertent mistake. merely confirming his blogger pose.

and then i style my hair myself today and i realized that everything is going to be okay.

no matter how trendy, front pleating is just not flattering. a millionbillion crunches a week and one pleated skirt undoes it all. it looks like a front diaper. like early 90s beverly hills 90210 front-butt jeans. or in some circles known as kelly taylor-gluteus-fronteus-maximus.

 maybe not that severe, but it makes me self-conscious

blouse- thrifted

skirt- thrifted(and hemmed with unmatching red thread!)

belt- gap

shoes- thrifted

body combat tomorrow!

bring it on

one of the greatest trials and tribulations of my life is how to dress for summer humidity. humidity makes the biblical lake of fire and brimstone seem more like a lukewarm soup. i love summer, i love heat, i love breezy, bohemian clothing. however, the fact that my personal style rules include that i always sport sleeves and my thighs must be covered makes it difficult to even think about being outside between the hours of 8am and 9pm. public nudity is simply unfeasible(though tempting). it's been my personal quest to put together a list of items i would actually want to wear while i am enjoying(not just surviving) summer.

my humidity-driven summer style must-haves:

(and no, just because i live in south carolina my list doesn't include a stars and bars bikini.)

1. an easy care/easy wear dress or two. something that doesn't require layers, cardigans, tanks or burkas. the dress is the whole outfit. i believe that cardigans in summer are for movie theaters only. plus, there is no experience more exhilarating than a nice breeze blowing up your skirt. onlookers enjoy it too.

2. hanes T shirts/white T shirts. consider them the building blocks of your wardrobe. i love them with cut off shorts and gladiator sandals and a chunky necklace. or a pencil skirt and wedge sandals for a slightly elevated look. simply the best.

3. loose shorts/pants. faded denim, chinos, seersucker, sometimes even the dreaded linen if they are a linen blend. tight, dark denim makes me feel like a sausage in summertime. i already know i ate too many nacho cheese drenched hot dogs at the barbeque, i don't need my waistband reminding me each time i move. but i always avoid cargo shorts. that just my personal preference. i've got thighs and i don't need gigantic tent-like pockets announcing to the world that they are not so well hidden under a flap of fabric that could also house a 747. i need the cargo pockets on my chest.

4. SINGLE LAYER SHIRTS- this is probably the MOST important thing to me. i HATE/LOATHE/DESPISE wearing a shirt and then another shirt because the first one is too short, too low cut, too see-through, too stained(not really, i do have a few grossness limits). how about i just dump a bucket of sweat all over myself and get it over with? the basic gap t has always been a friend to me. and i am currently jonesing for this shirt from francesca's. or i got a heck of a deal on some basic Ts from kohl's for $2.80 each. they are in the juniors section and because of that i bought large.

 however, my dear friend jamey does recommend the shade demi cap sleeve T for those shirts that simply must be worn and must be made modest.

5. skirts- oh my darling BFF the skirt. over your swimsuit. paired with your hanes T or your single layer T. one and you are done. the perfect one can take you from grocery store to pool to dinner out. just change your shoes and accessories.

*did you enjoy the gradual absolute mess my hair became in this series of pictures?

*and yes, i am very tan. not that i purposefully lay out and tan. the sun just loves me.

accessories:

SHOES- avoid flip flops unless you are headed to something uber-casual. i love gladiator sandals and wedge sandals. since summer dressing is so low-key and laid back, your shoes can really bring an outfit to another level. like, "yeah, i just naturally rock this bohemian-sweaty-shirt-sticking-to-my-back-vibe because these shoes say i'm trying, but i'm not. i think i'll have a lemonade and read some very hard-hitting and inspiring young adult fiction."

SCARVES and BELTS- scarves loosely draped are the essence of laid-back chic. and they can double as a sweat towel. i'm not kidding. belts look great slung low over the hips in summer. wrap them, tie them, buckle them, just don't cinch them. tight booby belts in summer are as repressive as corsets. take a deep breath and let it flow my little star-moon-hippie flower.

JEWELRY- pile it on and don't worry about looking cluttered. my favorite earrings are a silver pair shaped like angel wings. they make everything seem like i am too cool for school. i love to mix them with gold jewelry. it's summer, anything goes!

HAIR- buns hun. that's how i roll. sometimes i even dry and curl my hair so that my bun with be fuller and bigger and stay in better. i like the ouchless elastic hair ties by goody. i have gobs of hair and they secure very well for about a month before they are hopelessly stretched out. it's an ongoing issue for me.

 my dear carie does recommend these though:

finally, my MANTRA. i normally don't believe anything really has to "match", they simply have to "go". it's a gut feeling. and not that gut feeling you get after taco bell. the feeling that approves your outfit because it just feels right. this goes into overdrive once the temperatures top 75. if it keeps me cool and comfortable, bring it on.