Wednesday, April 25, 2007

my barf list

lately i have been compiling mental lists of things. i am a big list fan and a fan of descending numbers. just today while i was running errands i was trying to compile a mental list of songs that i would put on my ipod, if i ever figured out what that was and what i would do with one if i ever got one. seriously, i do know what an ipod is, i just feel like my mom around the dvd player when i get around ipods. especially at the gym. so shiny, so high tech! where is my walkman? i digress.

anyway, one time my friend rachel said that she wants to barf when she sees nicolas cage because she can't stand his voice or his face. so i have a list of people that make me want to barf when i see them, read about them or hear their music. enjoy!

my barf list

rosie o'donnell-bleaugggghhuh. stoopid, uninformed and revolting. like a bully on the playground. you are completely uncouth. at the recent NY women in communications gala, rosie made disgusting remarks about people she didn't like using anatomical gestures and vile word choices. hilary clinton and other elected officials were present. i don't like hilary, but i have a speck of politeness for her as a human being to not have to listen to someone spewing filth and passing it off as humor. plus, this was a ceremony honoring people. not a forum for rosie to spout of half-cocked. has she no decency? have i mentioned that i actually like donald trump more because of rosie???

sean penn-thank goodness you went to iraq and met with sadaam hussein to insure the U.S.'s safety. what would we do without you? does hollywood career give you a ticket to political genius? obviously.

whoopi goldberg-again, making comments about people while referencing body parts? unacceptable.

lindsay lohan-clothing, not overrated. try it sometime. and wash your face, you are greasy!

green day-hate their music, hate wannabe intellectual message. quit complaining and try and do something positive.

john mayer-clear your throat before you start singing! for the love!

fergie-yes, you are in shape and your boobs are huge. do you have anything more substantial to offer? and bytheway, 1999 called and they want their eyebrow ring back.

alan colmes-
uncanny resemblence?

AKA the skeletor of fox news. perhaps if you did some research you would have some type of response to the people you are interviewing that you don't agree with. and maybe you should practice your triumphant smirk in the mirror. right now it just looks like you smelled a poopy diaper. and finally, do you ever go outside? could you at least go to a tanning bed? i can see your veins through your skin!!!

elton john-you are old and bitter. i miss your good music. now you are all sequins, no substance.

honorable mentions-
mischa barton-i liked the oc. and then you morphed into marisa in your personal life, forever banning you and your show from my allegiance.
julia stiles-keanu reeves in woman form. the worst actress. ever.

and now a short list of public figures i enjoy:
glenn beck
joel mchale
gary sinise
celine dion
condoleeza rice
hilary duff
hmmm, shorter than i thought. i'll have to think on this one.


Caroline said...

I can't believe you don't like John Mayer! I love "Wonderland"!

Valoree said...

Loved, loved, loved this entry. I so agree with so many of the things you said. I can't stand John Mayer. I hate the way his mouth looks when he sings.
I so agree with your comments about Alan Colmes, too! Everytime I see him on FoxNews I say he looks dead! Funny stuff. You are a funny funny girl :)

ventingzebra said...

Hey. I like Nicholas Cage. Neverthelss, funny read.

Thomas said...

I love Nicholas Cage. Family Man, Raising Arizona, and Face Off (the TV, PG version) give him full-barf immunity in my book.

I would add Britney Spears, Tim Robbins, and Harry Reid to the barf list.

heidiluxe said...

harry reid and tim robbins are good additions. i would also add to my barf list anyone that does NOT like britney spears. so there.

Thomas said...

Just don't barf on the bed, Mrs. Federline.

Rachel said...

I am so pleased to have inspired this lovely entry. Did you notice that Nicolas Cage was on Letterman the day after you posted this? It is still true, he still makes me want to barf. Talk about looking dead. Sorry Cage lovers!