Tuesday, August 02, 2011

vampire patrol

tank- ? this is similar
shorts- nike tempo
socks- thorlo
sneaks- asics
drink- 32 ounce powerade zero in blueberry ice(which i can down in less that 3 minutes)

though this has been the summer the sun fried the universe, i've tried to be diligent in maintaining my running. it's the only thing i'm remotely good at and i can't lose it. whilst running i like a tank top with a high cut arm hole to reduce underarm chaffing(also known as chub rub in classy circles) and these nike tempo shorts have lasted me for 4 years. to keep my running consistent between the heat and my kids being home all summer, i've had to get up before the sun rises to run. i try to get through the majority of my run before the sun crests the tree line. i call it vampire patrol. once i see the sun i know i was become dust. i'm a sweaty, slow, hot mess but i love it.

AND for funnsies
a short list of my gym issues-

1. space invaders- some gym people who have zero concept that they are in your space. i really enjoy kicking and punching. it's a lethal combination.

2. naked grannies- i like to keep my eyes to myself when i am changing, but some grannies seem to think that the locker room is a runway. i understand not wanting to get make-up on your clothes, what about a towel? what about not leaning up your naked body against every surface, chair or mirror that i am also using? really? really?

3. loud talkers- i cannot concentrate on form if you are talking about your latest gynocological appointment. it is fine to talk about pat smear, guitarist for foo fighters. i love the foo fighters too. it is not okay to talk about your pap smear. a little decorum!

4. captain morgan- this is my husband's least favorite. men who change in the locker room, put on a t-shirt, but fail to put pants and underwear on until after they have shaved and combed their hair. then they feel the need to talk to you while with one leg up on the bench, still sans pants.

5. droopy drawers- i hate it when people are in the pool and when they pull themselves up to sit on the edge their body goes up but their swimsuit bottom goes down. way down. okay, this actually happened to me this week. pretty embarassing. free show with your ymca membership.

my workout song of the week:

motley crue- home sweet home

this song is the absolute best when you are on your last few miles. i heard it today when i was entering my neighborhood. tears were shed.


modernmom said...

Try running on the surface of the sun (aka: the place I recently moved to). I tried to run outside last Friday morning. All the towns people (all two, actually) came out to see it finally rain. Actually, that was just my sweat, but thanks for noticin' me- finally. I been waving to you like a madwoman for a month.
So. Back to the YMCA I go.
What are your average distances when it is this hot?

Serene said...

Heidi, this is GREAT! I work at a gym so I see this stuff ALL the time. The naked old ladies always get me! On the one hand, it's great tht they're so comfortable with their bodies. On the other hand, naked but on bench just creeps me out!! While I'm not a big runner, I do love me some hiking! Running just hurts too much for me....with my peasant, child bearing hips, I run like a large hippo and that pounding almost puts me in tears! By the way, how cool are those Nike shorts?!?! Wear mine to workout all the time! ~Serene

MerciBlahBlah said...

SPACE INVADERS ARE THE WORST. Oooooh, seriously girl - nothing gets me riled up faster than a space invader. I had a space invader next to me in kickboxing one time, and I thought, beyotch, if I kick you, it's your own damn fault. BACK OFF. People who sing to their ipod are also an annoyance, but not as much as people who talk on their cell phones. If you are on a treadmill and can still talk on the phone, you're not working hard enough. This might take the cake though - a few weeks ago I was at the gym on the eliptical, and a guy on the stationary bike near me was listening to his ipod and AIR DRUMMING. I WISH I was kidding. NERD ALERT!!!!


modernmom said...

My daughter and I were on treadmills next to each other yesterday. Me: running quietly, Madison: wogging quietly. The person next to us? Walking on the plastic cover for the motor. Causing her shoes to squeal with every step. MAKE IT STOP!

caramelchica said...

This was hilarious, as both a gym-goer and outdoor runner! I was on vampire patrol when I was pregnant last summer ;)

Natalie | The Bobby Pin said...

You inspire me! I need to go work out.... love the vampire analogy. You look super tan, so maybe that's what is keeping away the vampires too!