Wednesday, December 31, 2008

breaking dawn

after reading eclipse, i couldn't wait to read breaking dawn. but mostly because i love a good wedding. and descriptions of weddings. and wedding dresses. and food. and flowers. and i wanted to see what all the hype was about concerning the "suggestive" scenes between edward and bella. however, i felt like the whole book wasn't necessary. perhaps it should have been a novella or it could have been combined with eclipse since i didn't feel that whole book was neccesary. after book 2 the whole tone of the series changed. it was more of a sci-fi book and less of a love story. and i still wasn't sold on bella becoming a vampire until it became a neccesity for her to do so. edward loved her humanity and i didn't want to see either of them lose that.

what i liked-

-the wedding. i can't get enough of weddings and the like. it was a nice launchpad to bella's next hurdles that she needed to encounter.

-the best part about bella becoming a vampire was that she was no longer an indecisive dummy. hallelujah!

-i loved the post-vampire bella descriptions of the world around her. the world was more clear to her and to me.

-renesemee- at first i hated it because i hate a contrived made up name. but then characters started calling her nessie and i decided renesmee wasn't so bad after all. i am more than on the fence with it, i almost like it more than a little.

-bella started dressing better. even it it was just a nice pair of jeans and a longsleeved t-shirt, it was a million times better than the oversized flannel shirt descriptions of other books. and the cashmere sweater dress that she wears to meet the lawyer? i think that desciption was just for me. loved it. and the oyster colored silk dress too. so happy.

what i could have done without-

-jacob. why won't he just die and go away? he could have been eaten by a bear while he was depressed about bella. i would play the bear in the movie. they wouldn't have to pay me. i thought his perspective was completely unneccesary. his chapter headings were quite humorous but the rest just made me feel like i had walked around in mud with no shoes on and then it dried on my feet. and then i sweated a bunch and didn't have any clothes to wear and i slept in the dirt and ate raw animals. yuck. and he just kept hanging around all the time. shouldn't he be looking for gainful employment?

-why couldn't the wolfpacks have worn back packs? it makes sense to me. they could call them wolfpack packs. surely someone could have figured out a way to have clothes on when other people were around. something with elastic straps to expand with them when they got bigger and smaller.

-the wolves story line just bugged. it felt cartoony.

-EJ- thank goodness the baby was a girl. i think edward would have been a nice name for a boy, but having jacob as a middle name would be plain idiotic. and doesn't edward get a say in his own monster child's name? even i let thomas have some say on our kid's names.

-leah and jacob should have hooked it up. if sam uley dated her at one point then she certainly couldn't have been completely unfortunate looking.

-i found the ending completely anti-climactic. i wanted carnage. or a revolt. i wanted multiple vampires to have their limbs ripped off their bodies and then have seen them put themselves back together. i wanted wolves to be bitten in half(perhaps jacob). it seems to me that this was the cop out ending.

-and the WORST PART OF THE WHOLE BOOK- jacob imprinting on renesmee. BARF-A-RONI. be still my lunch. the book almost went out the window, but it's not my copy so i had to treat it nicely. this made no sense to me. sometimes a character not getting what they wanted and ending up unhappy is more interesting than every little loose end being nicely tied up. i just can't handle that, but i could see it coming. it just borders on pedophilia. creepy. someone go buy jacob a nice windowless van to cruise neighborhoods in. if you were a parent, would you want your speedy-growth-half-vampire-half-human-blood-guzzling-daughter to hook up with an unemployed wolf? what is he even bringing to the table? is edward going to support them for the rest of eternity?

-charlie not needing a real excuse about his daughter suddenly looking inhuman and having a 4 month old baby. seriously? i don't buy that for a minute.

i'm on the fence with-

-i really hope they make jacob hottt in the next movies so that he has some sort of redeeming quality about him.

-renesmee- saccharine-sweet faultless children are so bothersome to me. almost as bad as talking animals. her dad has a horrible temperament issue and her mom is completely passive, how did renesmee end up not throwing any tantrums whatsoever? she's still part human.

-bella's shield power. seemed a bit obtuse. annoying. not that the power was that dumb, just the descriptions about it. i did like at the end when edward could briefly read her mind and saw her thoughts about him. that was nice.

new questions that were posed-

-how do non-cullen vampires make money??? the cullens certainly depended on their cash to give them the anonymity they needed. how do the others hold down jobs and travel and obtain visas if they don't have mind reading powers to see how the stock market is going to go??? we live in a documented world, does everyone have a shady lawyer working for them?

-what was all the drama with edward and bella's "suggestive" scenes? they were married and it didn't describe anything. i was fine with it. i am glad that they were married before having sex. i think that was the main point that ms. meyer was trying to make.

finally, this ending totally leaves the door wide open for more vampire/wolf themed books. i will not read them. i only care about edward and bella. but i can't wait for midnight sun. i think edward's perspective on twilight and a little more history about him will be fascinating. i have held out this long not reading the portions posted online. i don't like book previews and i know reading it will only antagonize me. so, i hope ms. meyer will hurry it up and get over having her feelings hurt and will finish it up within the next decade.

how i rank the 4 books-
1. twilight-great, sooper, fun, fantastic. loved it!!!
2. new moon- good. sad, heart-breaking, but enjoyable.
3-eclipse-eh? okay.
4-new moon- the wedding and bella-the-new-vampire descriptions are it's only saving grace.


Will and Natalie Giddens said...

Oh my gosh, this was hilarious! I'm so glad you thought Jacob imprinting on Renesme was stupid because IT WAS!! Best line of the review, "someone go buy jacob a nice windowless van to cruise neighborhoods in" I almost wet my pants when I read that. Oh, and the second best line was the part about the wolfpack packs. Seriously hilarious. I'm glad you liked them less and less as you went along since I think Twilight is by far the best of the series. And that's not saying much.

Jessica said...

natalie, you're such a hater. hahaha. i can totally see all your points, EXCEPT for the jacob imprinting. i thought that was brilliant. overall though i like happy endings and i was glad everyone ended up happy (except for leah that is). it was wrapped up all a little too neatly and quickly though, and the end fight scene (or non-fight scene as the case may be), was kind of lame. i think the book would have been better and the story more developed if it had been split up into 2 books instead of 1.

anyway, i've so loved reading your commentaries that i'm sad they are over. boo hoo. :(

Will and Natalie Giddens said...

Jess, imprinting is LAME!