thursday-update update, sort of like redundant redundant. anyway, so even after the bishop's wife calls her and talks to her and her MOTHER about finding a daycare AND the relief society president calls her and talks to about being personally responsible for your own life and child, guess who calls me on TUESDAY???!!! you guessed it, chutney! i can't even bring myself to answer my phone(this has been the week from HELL, i'll update on that too) when i see her name pop up on my screen. she leaves me a message about needing a babysitter for thursday and friday afternoon from 12:30-6 because she has to work. my reaction and emotions were mixed. disbelief that this was still actually happening and resolution because i knew it would! i wanted to speak with her in person or at least over the phone, but she didn't answer when i returned her call. this is the message that i left:
"chutney, this isn't working out. you need to find a full-time babysitter. i want to help you but i have my own responsibilities to take care of and i can't always be available when you need me. please let me know if i can help find a daycare. call me."
i wish i hadn't said that i would help her find a daycare, but my personality dictates that i have to smooth over every situation regardless of how mad it makes me! hopefully she won't take me up on that and someday i hope to be able to shed this aspect of my personality where i don't want to hurt people's feelings. not necessarily a bad trait in most instances, but it has truly made me a doormat too many times.
ps-she never returned my call.
so, the chutney situation has *hopefully* been resolved. i contacted our relief society president and "nicely" explained the whole ordeal. the next sunday she announces to the relief society that a sign up list was going around the ward for those interested and available for babysitting for those in need. not exactly what i had in mind especially because chutney signed her name on it. she later told me that she signed up because when she is at home "i never do anything anyway." yuck. so my suspicions were confirmed that chutney thinks that stay-at-home-mothers just stay at home.
this is where is gets good. i am friends with the christine, the bishop's wife, but i never discussed chutney with her, because she is a real go-getter and in my mind i thought that she would think i was slacking on my service end of things. one day christine gets a call from chutney asking for babysitting help. (bytheway, christine has 3 young children and a fourth one due in about 10 weeks.) she says no, for obvious reasons. however, chutney and christine continue to discuss things and chutney pretty much lays everything out on the table for her as far as expecting the relief society to come to her aid because she didn't plan ahead for child care before her baby was born. later christine comes to me and asks my take on chutney and the babysitting sitch. i pretty much unload my guts to her. ultimately, the relief society pres. gets involved again and chutney is given a list of local day care providers and is informed that the relief society is for help, not for full time child care. will she ever get that she needs to be responsible adult? i really don't know. and here's why:
a. she seems very socially unaware. she invited several sisters from the ward to her baby shower. while at the shower, she announced to the whole group that she didn't even know their names.
b. i have yet to receive a thank you for the shower gift i gave her. her shower was in october.
c. she has asked me repeatedly if her husband could come and clean our carpets for some extra money. WE RENT!
d. she told me on sunday that her husband wasn't going to tell me what i was doing wrong while i was leading the music in sacrament meeting because it was "me",(does that mean i meet their friend approval?) but if it had been someone else...who knows? she says he is a former drum major. woo, that means nothing to me.
e. i learned on sunday that she has been my visiting teaching since we moved here in august. visits-0
what has this experience taught me? be very specific about offering help to others. perhaps i will print a business type card that i can give to people as i meet them. it would read:
your potential friend
criteria-you must be normal, hardworking, be willing to laugh at my jokes, and not call during "the office" on thursday nights.
disclaimer-i enjoy doing service, but if you take advantage of me, be prepared for me to blog about you on my website.
a final thought- i am no longer going to call myself a stay-at-home-mom. even though i technically spend most of my time at the homestead, i still fill my days with numerous activities and tasks that take me from the home for a good portion of the day. i have numerous jots on my calendar for the upcoming weeks, just as i did on my calendar at my office back before reagan was born. i have not completely settled on a new term, but on sunday when i was asked if i worked i replied, "yes, but i don't get a paycheck." i would like to combine the aspects of the term and concept of telecommuter, except for without the "tele" part since i don't report to anyone but God and sans "commuter", because i feel more like a chauffeur. title suggestions?
physical and psychological analyst and laborer?