going off of the rails on a crazy train

bachelor pad finale was on tonight! and while the ending was epic, this ensemble stole the show. 

what the heck is going on here? i'll ask it again, what the heck is going on here? it's a triple threat of claire's icing reject earrings, sparkly face stickers and a old broken bike chain welded into a headdress? jamie claims that she wasn't looking for love, and she's serious about it. would this attract any guy? ever? she obviously owns a metal detector. all of that metal must have been magnetic and that's how she can accept phone calls. or communicates with other planets. i wish i could have found a full outfit shot. her dress was covered in gigantic gold paillette sequins. it was blinding. a fashion debacle of epic proportions. she was doing nothing to dispel her image of being the conductor of the crazy train. 

and i don't even hate head pieces. i think my girl crush nicole richie rocks them. 

throwing on every single trendy item you could find does not a stylish outfit make- yoda

before you leave the house, look in the mirror and remove one accessory" -coco chanel

happy girls are the prettiest

unfortunately, even though i am 32 years old, have a wonderful husband, 3 great kids, am a (mostly) productive citizen in our society, both ridiculously smart and ridiculously humble, i still get hung up on the number written on the inside of my pants. not just hung up, but that stupid little number that only indicates fit and not self-worth, can really hammer me mentally. i bought a pair of jeans this week that fit me well but i almost didn't buy them because they weren't the size that i deemed okay for me to wear. it's embarrassing to publicly admit that. it makes me so angry because i am a happy and fulfilled person, dang it! i hate being mentally unhealthy, especially when i know i have my girls looking at me and i never, ever(ever!) want them to feel this way. when i was in college i dated a guy who told me that he wouldn't marry me unless i got plastic surgery on my nose. not even my chest(which we at least be remotely understandable being that we live in a world where breast implants are as ubiquitous as cell phones and hot pockets), but my nose!!! and the absolutely worst part of it is that i actually contemplated it. talk about a low point in my life. if anyone ever says something like this to one of my kids i would knock them into next week. i definitely approve of maternal violence as the antidote for cruel comments. for years i couldn't look in a mirror without staring at my nose and wondering if it was worse than it really was. i never thought there was anything wrong with my nose until that point. it was a lot of wasted, useless thinking. thinking that imprinted itself on my brain that i still occasionally refer to. 

but, i'm not doing that anymore. 

 i starting training for another half marathon recently and i discovered something. when i look like this:

i feel awesome. better than awesome, i feel amazing. i don't care about my nose, i don't care about my stomach overhang, i don't care about being slow or the fact that i'm panting like a dog hanging out the window of a moving vehicle. all my appearance issues are put in perspective. i have been blessed with an incredible body and i am using it. i know that i am being healthy. it's the best kind of medicine for me. i stink like dead fish because i sweat like a hairy man on the bayou, but i don't care. exercise makes me happy. and "happy girls are the prettiest." audrey hepburn

the end