cancelled

i cannot wrap my mind around how some brilliant shows are cancelled after only a short period of time while other tv shows with little to no entertainment value CONTINUE to be watched and renewed. it's baffling. it's like the number of people who watch tv whilst using their brain at the same time it's getting smaller and smaller with each passing year. i just read a short list of shows that have been cancelled for next year and i am seriously concerned about the future of our country if this pattern continues.

JUST CANCELLED SHOWS THAT WERE WORTH WATCHING
1. my name is earl- i was totally shocked about this one. though my viewership has recently dropped off, i always thought this show was funny(often too crude) but had a mass audience appeal. best character-joy. she made horrible bleached out fake hair and trashy wal-mart chic shirts almost enviable. almost.
2. kath and kim-for real. this show was a highlight. i found pure pleasure in pressing record on the DVR for this one. funny funny stuff. while i loved both kath and kim, the best character by FAR was-derek, kim's extranged husband's big box technology store co-worker/sidekick. the scene where he was laying on his bed and reading twilight whilst doling out relationship advice was pure comic genius.
3. privileged- i wasn't really into this show but i know of several very smart and witty people who were BIG FANS(one gal in particular who was the biggest supporter of this show but she's a not fan of twilight. this is completely incongruent to me and makes no sense whatsoever.). i must say that i did really enjoy the clothing. and that's more than i can say about some shows i've watched.

the best shows on tv
1. burn notice- i had a dream a few nights ago that i was watching this show. i am that excited for it's return on june 4th. and it's quite apropo that i was dreaming about it since i can never stay awake during an episode, no matter how riveting, and i always have to watch an episode twice. i save my laundry folding for watching this show so that i can combat my chronic couch-sitting induced narcolepsy.
2. PSYCH- just plain awesome gus. nothing better on tv.
3. 30 rock- the only thing worth watching on must-see-thursday anymore. sorry, office. you've jumped the shark.
4. scrubs- LOVE IT. here's the caveat. will it be as good without drs. dorian and cox? not that i think either are the best on the show(turk is the BEST) but the ensemble chemistry is what does it for me.

shows that should be cancelled ASAP
1. parks and recreation- sorry, amy poehler. i think you are hilarious. but this show is not. and it's a darn shame that my name is earl was sacrificed to save parks and recreation. a crying in the night shame.
2. two and a half men- i feel dumber even making comments about this show. formulaic. predictable. overtly sexual without any creativity whatsoever. and i've not even made it through an entire episode. plus, all the people i have encountered who love this show make me wish for an early armageddon. was that too harsh?
3. american idol- don't hate me for this. i just can't get into this show. i only enjoy the audition episodes and the last 5 minutes of the finale. was anyone else shocked that adam lambert didn't win?

and while i'm at it, i'm still mad that these shows were cancelled:
cancelled brilliance
1. kevin hill- give taye diggs a chance!
2. veronica mars- proof that there are some smart high schoolers out there. not at my alma mater, but somewhere.
3. miss guided- a show created by ashton kutcher that had chris parnell from SNL playing the vice principal. awesomesauce.

what do you think? what have i forgotten? what are your faves? what should be long gone? what are you going to miss? can anyone defend two and a half men?

a couple thoughts and the white skirt challenge

while i absolutely love having a blog totally devoted to my own personal thoughts and deep insights, i find it terribly difficult to maintain. it kills me! i have thoughts all the time of awesomely bad blog topics yet when it comes down to typing them out, i just don't. and i thought a new year's resolution of weekly blogging would help, but it just increases the guilt. anywhoo, this is the sparkling gem of prose that i came up with for this week:

speidi wearing swine flu masks .
really. it's like they ENJOY being the butt of jokes.
there are SO many things i could say about this picture. the pigs jokes are just about to spill out of my brain!
*attention hogs
*swine-tastic flesh colored beard(not by the hair of my chinny chin chin)
*they shouldn't worry about spreading swine flu, there is no evidence that it is passed from animals to humans(get it? they're the pigs? haha)
but, i'll pare the thoughts down to one.
it's unfortunate that they are only wearing face masks and that they couldn't permanently wear full body masks to keep them from reproducing and creating little speidis.

kate gosselin
stop the insanity. so what about her husband's alledged affair. let's stop this hair crime! the spikey hair in the back is BAD. horrible. it's like a suburban mom's version of the mullet, tupperware party in the front, weed whacking yard project in the back.

it had me at hello

i love this white skirt, available from wal-mart for only $15 bucks! since i love white, this should be a natural choice for me. and since it is a full skirt, the white won't make me look like a whale like white pants and capris never fail to do. the pleating should help slenderize my hips and minimize the size of my thighs. my goal is to wear it once a week this summer, never repeating the top or shoes together. if it works i'll post pictures.

santa vaca dora!

apparently there has been some hub bub in the media about dora the explorer's new look. the article that i read online listed some of the complaints from parents against the tween dora doll.
"dora the street walker"
"a sexed up version of a children's icon"
"a poor example for kids"

are you intrigued yet as to what they've done to dora?

SANTA VACA DORA! you look like a typical 10 year old girl with long hair and cute clothes!!! for shame! i'll never let my daughter play with her now. i can't having her believe that anyone ever grows up!

seriously folks, if we are concerned about a new tween dora with no visible pubescent changes, a covered naval and zero make up, shouldn't we be burning the BRATZ dolls at the stake?

who are the BRATZ dolls being marketed to, tramps in training? the future "pretty women" of the world?

who is supposed to play with these heavily made up, botoxed, lip-injected, alien-faced wastes of good plastic? they've has so much plastic surgery that michael jackson is jealous of their non-existent noses. BRATZ dolls look like VH1's rock of love bus wannabes.
and as for barbie, while she may be quite voluptuous, she still looks employable. barbie has been a vet, an ice cream shop owner, an astronaut, a figure skater, and has served all 4 branches of the military, just to name a few occupations. at least barbie conveys the message that girls can have any occupation they want.
BRATZ are what we really should be in an uproar about. leave dora alone.

the legolas syndrome

dear robert pattinson,
this is an intervention. i only write this to help you. i think you are suffering from legolas syndrome. this syndrome can be classified as a person who can be found attractive or at least not repulsive in a movie or tv show and then in real life they are bordering on looking homeless or suffering from the bubonic plague. the illness is called legolas syndrome after legolas from the "lord of the rings" movies. i know of many females who felt the need to embrace pointy ears and archery after viewing orlando bloom as legolas.

however, after the LOTR trilogy wrapped, orlando bloom moved on to other endeavors. the box office bust "elizabethtown" was one of them. apparently mr. bloom was so upset by working with kirsten dunst(who wouldn't be?) that he decided to become a mechanic at your local auto body shop as displayed below. hello grease monkey. many girl's hearts were broken and numerous archery sets were returned to the local sporting goods store.

this brings me to you mr. pattinson.
i read the interview you gave in april's GQ. this article mentioned that you showed up looking less than appropriate; "His clothes smell like he has recently purchased them off the back of someone less fortunate than he." this was not the first mention of you showing up in public unwashed. i know that you are european but this does not mean that you need to be euro-trash. i understand the whole crazy hair schtick that you've got going for you and i actually kind of like it, but washing your hair often when you use hair gel is a must. it's right up there in importance with using a bar of soap and brushing your teeth(with toothpaste). you may even come to enjoy showering like the rest of the civilized world.

stylized robert pattinson=good

unwashed miscreant robert pattison=bad
as a supporter of your work, i enjoyed both harry potter and twilight, please please please make some effort in your personal grooming. i promise it will only help your acting efforts. if something doesn't happen soon i fear that you will end up making movies for the lifetime movie network. how do you feel about playing opposite tori spelling in a family drama in which a woman finds out she is actually married to her drug-dealing mafia brother who is also part-time pastry chef???

sincerely, heidiluxe

i HOPE she doesn't make this blunder again

like everyone else on the planet, i was most excited for inauguration day to see what michelle obama would wear to the numerous balls that she and the president would attend. good fashion should be completely bi-partisan, so what can more easily unite a nation than fantastic clothes?

my gut reaction when i first saw her was two words: toilet paper. i was completely disappointed. i was down in the dumps for about 30 minutes after viewing her inauguration night ball gown. i have really enjoyed seeing what mrs. obama wears and this night was no exception. i only wish she could have delivered.

mrs. obama is not a fussy person and i think the sparkles and flowers gave her the impression of being child-like or a bridesmaid. this woman is was the bride on tuesday and she therefore should be commanding the attention and respect of a bride, not her junior bridesmaid younger sister. or resembling the streamers on the get-away car.

according to designer jason wu,

"It's soft, feminine, but powerful; I wanted to convey all that in a dress. I wanted it to look like a sign of hope."

yeah, i HOPE she doesn't make this blunder again. i was hoping for something less flower child, more full-bloom rose.

ball gown pluses-

the color white. AMAZING color choice. her skin just glows. she should wear white everyday. that would stimulate the economy because women would be rushing out to buy white shirts to try and look half as fantastic as she does in white. (i also love to wear white. perhaps i should start a trend?)

the one shoulder strap. i love this on her. LOVE IT! she has amazing shoulders and this look displayed them well.

ball gown minuses-

the gauzy flowers. this just didn't translate well. it appeared unfinished.

the length. either she needed the dress to be bustled or she and the president needed to practice beforehand because they both looked like two robots stuck in glue as they both kept getting caught up in the skirt of the dress.

a related note-

i wish she had worn at least half her hair pulled back from her face. i think it would have been more formal and would could have gotten a better look at her dangly earrings.

the lemongrass inauguration suit was more palatable to my senses, but in some photos is looked decidely mustard, which is not a color i believe that the First Lady should wear. i tried to reserve judgement on the suit until i had seen several angles and screen captures, but something was just not quite right. mrs. obama is a tall lady and all the loose, heavy fabric gave her almost a couch-like appearance. if the sheath dress had been a solid fabric of the same color i believe the visual busy-ness would have been toned down.

loved the leather gloves.

and the brooch at the neck. i didn't like the sweater under the jacket and over the sheath dress. too much.

The Lunch Date Blouse GIVEAWAY!!!!

The Lunch Date Blouse GIVEAWAY!!!!

i want this! no one else is allowed to enter. the end.

resolute this!

i love making resolutions. it's just another excuse for me to make another one of my beloved lists.
in no particular order:
1. 6 o'clock am scripture study. get it done while i am alone and the house is quiet. hopefully this will also help me improve my sleep habits and get to bed earlier.

2. run 4 road races. half-marathon, 10k, 5k, 5k

3. no junk in january. i need to detox. this past month has been like an IV of sugar straight into my veins.

4. read 3 books per month. should be doable. this will keep me from getting dumber. i have a lot of people who like to help me with that. i need to actively combat their wiley ways. this includes my monthly book club book.

5. update both blogs weekly.

6. learn a new southern recipe every two weeks. i don't want to lose my touch.

7. two week menu planner. this has worked pretty well for me for the last two months and i think i have saved a considerable amount of money.

8. one week a month of thank you only prayers. last sunday's RS lesson inspired me to find more gratitude in my life. thanks to elder bednar for the inspiration on this one.

9. read Book of Mormon twice. real reading. even though i already know the ending.just kidding. i love to read it and i look forward to the challenge of trying to understand it more and more.

10. go to WOF and OOF. seriously. i can't believe that i didn't make an appearance at either place last summer. plus, it's a good incentive to get swimsuit ready. you never know when talents scouts will be looking for new models. i've got to be ready.

projects for 2009
1. create an acceptable outfit wall. i have a GOB of clothes that i never wear and i have no motivation to wear. this project includes photographing and displaying pictures of me in outfits that i like on the back of my closet door. hopefully this will help me explore my closet and rekindle my relationship with some of my clothes. i used to have a wedding dress wall. i figure i should do this with something useful and will help me simplify my daily life.

2. decorate and organize my home office. it's a wreck and if i want to accomplish some of the sewing projects i have tucked away in my brain, i need a clean area to do it. the box of 500 sewing pins dumped on the floor is sort of a safety hazard.

3. 365 photojournal. i saw this on someone else's blog and i thought it was a fun challenge. of course i will follow my own rules, but i think it would be interesting to have a picture from every day of the year.

motto for the year:
magnify the calling, simplify the work

and my fitness/healthy eating mantra:
85/15.
eating right accounts for 85 percent of weight management. exercise accounts for 15 percent of weight management. i can't let myself think that because i worked out i deserve to eat an entire batch of cookie dough.

eat healthy 85 percent of the time and allow myself junk 15 percent of the time.

breaking dawn

after reading eclipse, i couldn't wait to read breaking dawn. but mostly because i love a good wedding. and descriptions of weddings. and wedding dresses. and food. and flowers. and i wanted to see what all the hype was about concerning the "suggestive" scenes between edward and bella. however, i felt like the whole book wasn't necessary. perhaps it should have been a novella or it could have been combined with eclipse since i didn't feel that whole book was neccesary. after book 2 the whole tone of the series changed. it was more of a sci-fi book and less of a love story. and i still wasn't sold on bella becoming a vampire until it became a neccesity for her to do so. edward loved her humanity and i didn't want to see either of them lose that.



what i liked-

-the wedding. i can't get enough of weddings and the like. it was a nice launchpad to bella's next hurdles that she needed to encounter.

-the best part about bella becoming a vampire was that she was no longer an indecisive dummy. hallelujah!

-i loved the post-vampire bella descriptions of the world around her. the world was more clear to her and to me.

-renesemee- at first i hated it because i hate a contrived made up name. but then characters started calling her nessie and i decided renesmee wasn't so bad after all. i am more than on the fence with it, i almost like it more than a little.

-bella started dressing better. even it it was just a nice pair of jeans and a longsleeved t-shirt, it was a million times better than the oversized flannel shirt descriptions of other books. and the cashmere sweater dress that she wears to meet the lawyer? i think that desciption was just for me. loved it. and the oyster colored silk dress too. so happy.



what i could have done without-

-jacob. why won't he just die and go away? he could have been eaten by a bear while he was depressed about bella. i would play the bear in the movie. they wouldn't have to pay me. i thought his perspective was completely unneccesary. his chapter headings were quite humorous but the rest just made me feel like i had walked around in mud with no shoes on and then it dried on my feet. and then i sweated a bunch and didn't have any clothes to wear and i slept in the dirt and ate raw animals. yuck. and he just kept hanging around all the time. shouldn't he be looking for gainful employment?

-why couldn't the wolfpacks have worn back packs? it makes sense to me. they could call them wolfpack packs. surely someone could have figured out a way to have clothes on when other people were around. something with elastic straps to expand with them when they got bigger and smaller.

-the wolves story line just bugged. it felt cartoony.

-EJ- thank goodness the baby was a girl. i think edward would have been a nice name for a boy, but having jacob as a middle name would be plain idiotic. and doesn't edward get a say in his own monster child's name? even i let thomas have some say on our kid's names.

-leah and jacob should have hooked it up. if sam uley dated her at one point then she certainly couldn't have been completely unfortunate looking.

-i found the ending completely anti-climactic. i wanted carnage. or a revolt. i wanted multiple vampires to have their limbs ripped off their bodies and then have seen them put themselves back together. i wanted wolves to be bitten in half(perhaps jacob). it seems to me that this was the cop out ending.

-and the WORST PART OF THE WHOLE BOOK- jacob imprinting on renesmee. BARF-A-RONI. be still my lunch. the book almost went out the window, but it's not my copy so i had to treat it nicely. this made no sense to me. sometimes a character not getting what they wanted and ending up unhappy is more interesting than every little loose end being nicely tied up. i just can't handle that, but i could see it coming. it just borders on pedophilia. creepy. someone go buy jacob a nice windowless van to cruise neighborhoods in. if you were a parent, would you want your speedy-growth-half-vampire-half-human-blood-guzzling-daughter to hook up with an unemployed wolf? what is he even bringing to the table? is edward going to support them for the rest of eternity?

-charlie not needing a real excuse about his daughter suddenly looking inhuman and having a 4 month old baby. seriously? i don't buy that for a minute.

i'm on the fence with-

-i really hope they make jacob hottt in the next movies so that he has some sort of redeeming quality about him.

-renesmee- saccharine-sweet faultless children are so bothersome to me. almost as bad as talking animals. her dad has a horrible temperament issue and her mom is completely passive, how did renesmee end up not throwing any tantrums whatsoever? she's still part human.

-bella's shield power. seemed a bit obtuse. annoying. not that the power was that dumb, just the descriptions about it. i did like at the end when edward could briefly read her mind and saw her thoughts about him. that was nice.

new questions that were posed-

-how do non-cullen vampires make money??? the cullens certainly depended on their cash to give them the anonymity they needed. how do the others hold down jobs and travel and obtain visas if they don't have mind reading powers to see how the stock market is going to go??? we live in a documented world, does everyone have a shady lawyer working for them?

-what was all the drama with edward and bella's "suggestive" scenes? they were married and it didn't describe anything. i was fine with it. i am glad that they were married before having sex. i think that was the main point that ms. meyer was trying to make.

finally, this ending totally leaves the door wide open for more vampire/wolf themed books. i will not read them. i only care about edward and bella. but i can't wait for midnight sun. i think edward's perspective on twilight and a little more history about him will be fascinating. i have held out this long not reading the portions posted online. i don't like book previews and i know reading it will only antagonize me. so, i hope ms. meyer will hurry it up and get over having her feelings hurt and will finish it up within the next decade.

how i rank the 4 books-
1. twilight-great, sooper, fun, fantastic. loved it!!!
2. new moon- good. sad, heart-breaking, but enjoyable.
3-eclipse-eh? okay.
4-new moon- the wedding and bella-the-new-vampire descriptions are it's only saving grace.

eclipse

what i liked-
-i liked mrs. meyer's reference of cathy and wuthering heights. a true classic. hopefully more people will be inclined to read it. i read it once in 7th grade and grasped almost none of it. i am planning on trying to read it again.
-also, romeo and juliet and anne of green gables references. not just junk you are forced to read in high school.
-the edward/heathcliff comparison. solid.
-bella/cathy comparison. for real. bella needs to pick something and stick with it.

what made me barf-
-the wolf pack. they might as well of been animated talking animals. i just can't handle that. i want them to all drown in the ocean.
-bella's apathy toward college attendance. becoming a vampire does limit some of a person's opportunity to be a part of the outside world. i wish she would take advantage of every opportunity she got.
-why can't she let edward buy her something? perhaps a new wardrobe? at least a car? i would take a BMW 525i in charcoal gray, please. she is sort of selfish to limit other people's generosity.
-bella's love of jacob. if she loves edwards as much as she claims, then jacob's friendship should be just that and not a threat to edward. selfish snot. she wants it all for herself. she thinks that because she loves both edward and jacob, granted differently, that they should both be happy because she is.
-kissing jacob. how in the world did she fall for that?
-requiring edward to stay with her during the battle. no way. she needs to be supportive of edward protecting his family. how could they have happiness together if his whole family had been slaughtered?

i'm on the fence with-
-getting married. these are teenagers! at least one of them is. but,at the same time, i don't get why the idea is so repulsive to bella. it's like she can't see beyond her own nose. selfish selfish selfish.
-the victoria/newborn battle. eh? perhaps that is just the rosalie coming out in me. i wasn't that interested. they could have taken a trip somewhere for about a month and avoided the whole ordeal.

new moon

new moon knocked my socks off. and not in the motivated, let's-run-10-miles-and-learn-italian-literature kind of way. i really liked it, but it depressed me. BIG TIME. which is probably what mrs. meyer was going for, right? what affected me the most about new moon was the break-up scene and the foreboding few days leading up to it. edward's withdrawal was all too familiar from personal experience. i could smell "break up" in the air. i was anticipating it, though i didn't have any clue as to if it was really going to happen. the pre-emptive anxiety i experienced was beyond ridiculous. i had to keep prepping myself and tell myself that this wasn't happening to me. not to get too personal(why is it so easy to share a lot about my embarassing daily life on the internets, but not personal things?) but i even got out my old journal from college and reread some entries from june 2001. the worst break up of my life. and for you that were with me at the time, it wasn't lance(are you kidding me?), and certainly not joseph the lumberjew. (haha, i've always wanted a reason to type lumberjew.) i was a mess. i didn't realize that some of those emotions had simply been buried and that the pain was still there. rejection is no fun if you are the one being rejected. but i pulled through; i finished the book. i'm okay. for real. no intervention needed.

things i liked about new moon-
-the single pages with the month listed and no further information. october, november, december. this killed me. totally effective way to showcase the doom and nothingness that bella experienced. bawled my face off.

-bella being overy dramatic. cracked me up. at first i scoffed at her but then i realized that she is just a teenager in love. and i am a condescending adult.

-alice. i love her and i want to be her and steal cars for sport. and drive a yellow porshe. and go shopping with her. and let her give me a make over. also, her character was the most emotionally available of any of them. she was willing to drop everything and help bella so that her brother would be happy. and risk her own safety. a truly benevolent character.

-italy and the volturi. yikes. bikes! the interrogation wasn't that alarming. the lunch the volturi had was more than alarming. and, i was so excited to get edward back. because i like him. he actually has job prospects if he wanted them.

what i disliked about new moon-
-jacob. at first he was tolerable but then i just kept picturing the big, sweaty, perpetually happy ogre. i couldn't visualize him well. just too sloppy and unclean. i picture him wearing a wife beater. a vote for team jacob is a vote for team unemployed. hopefully the movie will rectify this situation for me.

-werewolves- WEIRD(because vampires are so normal). i just couldn't grasp that. what does sam uley do for money? how does he support his fiancee? i think i am too practical for all that bizness. imprinting? no gracias.

-bella in port angeles confronting the guys outside the bar. it just didn't jive for me. i knew nothing was going to happen. it was too wordy and too thoughtful to be very climatic.

i'm on the fence with-
-bella trying to hear edward's voice in her head. i understand the need to try and ressurrect as many memories as possible but i was hoping that it really would be edward talking to her. otherwise she was just nuts. and should be medicated.

twilight

this review is more limited and disjointed than i was hoping for. feel free to ask for clarifications.

i really liked this book. it was fun and refreshing. bella could be as dull as dirt but also infinitely interesting. her fallibility and poor decisionmaking skills were frustrating but completely appealing to me. her lack of personality was not. i completely related to her in her obsessive attraction to edward. who hasn't crushed on someone in high school(or college) and then looked for them or tried to glean more information about them every chance they got? or drove completely out of their way just so they could see if anybody might be in a particular parking lot at the foreign language housing dorm? anybody? anybody?
edward was by far my favorite character. i love a good strong, smart male lead. he was inherently flawed despite his vampire perfection. i love a male character who feels the need to take care or protect a female. that doesn't necessarily make the lead female weak or pitiful, but just proves that gallantry and chivalry aren't dead. his word choices and phrases were nice. there was a strong voice distinction. i am determined to use the word absurd more often as a result. though, i do wish he would have murderized those unwashed miscreants in port angeles.

i liked that bella was able to assess situations and try and determine her own destiny; pumping jacob for edward information, deciding to fight back her attackers in port angeles, becoming the sacrificial lamb of sorts for the vampire james and not involving others who might get hurt. other things i related to with bella was her overwhelming feelings of not feeling good enough for edward. i think this teenage emotional nail was hit right on the head. i also like bella because she wasn't good at things. she wasn't perfect at everything or anything so she makes us feel like someday a fantastic vampire could fall in love with us too or just have exciting things happen to us. and bella did dumb things. and she was dumpy. and annoying. and she fell a lot. though i have no room to judge on personal grace or poise. i think stephenie meyer used a great mix of normalcy and extraordinary--and showed how they can be the same thing.

i was never concerned about the final outcome of the book. obviously, since there are 3 more books besides this one, i knew not EVERYONE would die. but that would have been fun too. regardless, i was interested in the parts that i found predictable as much as the parts that i found completely unpredictable. twilight was sort of like a cigarette to me. i took the book everywhere trying to get a few paragraphs in at a time when i could. once i was done i almost didn't know how to complete simple tasks like sitting at stop lights or blow drying my hair. the book was always there. i may need a 12 step program just to get me back to real life.

major likes-
-a fun, fast, slightly silly, nicely chaste but still exciting read. it was even easier and faster to read the second time around.
-i would pause after certain passages and laugh at myself because i was reading a book about vampires. and it was silly but i was compelled to read more.
-it made thinking of being a teenager again not such a completely revolting thought. especially if i was a vampire and looked like rosalie.
-the random bits of sarcasm and humor. it was like stephenie meyer was putting her own personal jokes in there.
-the obvious simliarities between lds doctrine and vampire dogma. funny. i like a nice subliminal message. i hope some of the teeny-bopper readers took the self-control message to heart.
-i LOVE the fact that stephenie meyer never describes anyone with the word sexy. i despise that word. it is so over-used that it means nothing. plus, sexy is so fleeting, so one-note. there is no depth to that description and it sounds very generic and cheap.
-baseball scene-verging on ridiculous but light-hearted enough to make the vampires seems like they were once human with human interests.

major issues-
-the long khaki skirt that bella wears to meet the cullens. yuck. that description almost ruined the chapter for me. i just pictured a sister missionary in honduras with some birkenstocks. be still my lunch.
-the just-add-water "i love yous"- i think this could have been more interesting had the relationship tension built up over more shared experiences or a little longer period of time.
-jacob-i don't know what it was about his description and mannerisms, i just saw him as sort of a dumb, easily manipulated lump.
-stephenie meyer is a comma freak. i would have to read several lines over again so that i could have a better handle on her true emphasis and meaning.
-i wish there was more rosalie. if i were at a vampire crossroads i would feel very much like her. i don't pine to be a vampire. i'm possibly opposed to it. i would struggle back and forth about whether or not if was in bella's position, if i would want to become a vampire. being human is pretty great. i like sleeping. i love eating. crying has its perks. not to say that being a vampire wouldn't be fun too. running faster would be great.

final thoughts that may or not be related to twilight:
i'm totally fine with people not liking twilight. i don't like the lion king. different strokes for different folks. it irks me relentlessly when people don't like it because it isn't "literature". what's so bad about fluff reading? brownies are not the "literature" of food but they are pretty dang fantastic anyway. the people who shun reading fluff only see "films" and not movies and only listen to indie music and pretend that christina aguilera or mariah carey are untalented. they are pretentious and they think they are smarter than everyone else. and that cannot possibly be true because i am smarter than absolutely everyone and i thought twilight was a great book.
thoughts?

the twilight movie from a non-reader perspective

so last friday i threw caution to the wind and saw the twilight movie. i haven't read a single iota of any of the books. i am not opposed to reading them, i just never thought about it. for a long time i thought they were a strictly lds young adult fiction series of books and i have a natural aversion to that type of literature. probably because i love gratuitous sex and using the F word as an adjective. okay, not really. lds fiction is just not my thing. anywhooo, during the movie i took a bunch of notes that i scribbled on a long wal-mart receipt and my voter registration id card. keep in mind that this is strictly my thoughts on the movie and not the book. i have no thoughts on the book. and don't say, if you read the book, it would all make sense. and if you are tempted to say that to me my response will be to go read gone with the wind and quit referring to that one time you watched 20 minutes of the movie and that is how you have formulated your entire gone with the wind opinion. see, everything comes back to gone with the wind with me.
without further ado-
a short twilight movie opinion list by heidi
1. someone behind me was wearing a TON of paul mitchell hairspray. i love that smell so that was a good omen.
2. hurray for peter facinelli. you can finally contribute to your family income with wife jennie garth(kelly of 90210). you've come a long was since your can't hardly wait days.
3. the best line of the movie is when bella's friend is describing the cullen clan and she says that jasper is the one who looks like he is always in pain. i busted out laughing. and i was the only one.
4. edward's hair is amazing. do vampires have to get their hair cut? what about dental work? where do they draw the line? do they go to the bathroom? does sucking blood create any waste
products?
5. why are the cullens in school? can't they claim homeschool status? is it just something for them to do? they don't seem to socialize with any other students.
6. google has the answers to everything. bella figured everything out just from googling a few key words. i bet she could figure out where osama bin laden in just a few minutes.
7. i know bella doesn't care about fashion but did she have to pick out some of the ugliest shirts possible? doesn't she have ANY fashion standards?
8. rosalie's shoes were amazing.
9. in fact, the entire cullen family was fastidiously dressed and groomed. i would like to be a vampire for that reason alone. are they trying to eradicate the vampire stereotype of bad tuxedos and exaggerated widow's peaks?
10. bella and edward's relationship seemed to be based on a lot of staring. if thomas and i stared at each other that much, even less would get done at this house.
11. during the first biology class scene it seemed like edward was trying to keep from vomiting all over bella. and bella acted as if she was breathing in some sort of awful stink and it was slowly choking her. not my favorite scene.
12. edward's suit for the prom was great. just great.
13. when edward was showing off his sparkly skin, was is neccessary to open his shirt to the waist? i'm just saying. and couldn't they have waxed his chest?
14. bella was the posterchild for an abusive relationship.
edward- i want to kill you and drink all your blood in a smoothie.
bella- but i love you!
15. is everyone in washington state sweaty and clammy all the time?
16. what was the deal with the leggings at prom? i almost walked out of the theater on that one. i can understand the sneaker because of the boot, but the leggings? barf on my face. and i thought her thigh bone was broken. would that kind of break required a foot boot?
17. the middle portion of the movie seemed like a music video that just wouldn't end.
18. i wish it could have been longer. i felt like there was a bunch that was missing. i don't think people would object to seeing a really good long movie. i object to short and bad movies.
19. does the cullen family have social security cards or passports? how do they travel out of country? how do they pay taxes? can they have their pictures taken? do they have driver's licenses???
20. sissies drive hatchbacks. granted, the hatchback edward drove was a flashy volvo, it still was a hatchback. how hard would it have been to get a coupe or a sedan?

in short, it wasn't a bad movie. it was definitely geared to a junior high audience. unfortunately most of our audience was 25 or older. all this being said, i haven't stopped thinking about twilight and i CANNOT WAIT to start reading the first book tonight. even with all the movie's faults i could tell there is a good story underneath that needs to be unearthed. and i hope i find it.

infamous is not the same as famous

let's not give ashley alexandra dupre her fifteen minutes of fame. if you don't know who she is, she is the prostitute who former new york governor eliot spitzer had his dangerous liasions with and who he spent gobs of money on. before that she was famous for exploiting herself on girls gone wild. ms. dupre has an interview with diane sawyer on 20/20 on friday. \let's boycott this interview. watch an i love lucy rerun instead.

my heart breaks for silda spitzer who has chosen to stand by her husband during this whole scandal. do we really need to know why ms. dupre, an aspiring singer, left her upper-middle class family and chose to become a call girl? should we care? all i know is that this interview is another piece in her puzzle to lead to her a life of fame. i feel sticky just thinking about her. next time we see her i am sure it will be on celebrity rehab with dr. drew. and that's not the same as being famous either.

obama/mccain 08

the most burning political question post election, who was michelle obama's stylist on election night and have they been shot yet? talk about an unflattering dress!

however, i was thrilled and relieved to see her daughter dress like a little lady instead of like most girls her age who are imitating life size BRATZ dolls.

mrs. obama is a very attractive woman with enviable curves but you would never know with this frock disaster! first and foremost, she needs to lose the jacket. her arms are one of her best features. the jacket smothers the integrity of the original design of the dress. the jacket makes all the other details fight each other rather than compliment each other. the satin trim on the hips emphasizes and visually doubles the size of her hips detracts from the overall design of the dress. BOO!

the original, more risque design on the runway:

i think that by taking the dress from cocktail to presidential didn't translate. mrs. obama should have used her power of executive veto.

a short 2008 campaign trail retrospective:

michelle obama fashion fabulousness-

i love the dress, but i HATE the boots. they need to go higher on her leg. and the low heel and suede fabric look insubstantial compared to the crispness of the dress. she looks like she stood in a deep mud puddle and stained her legs. but the cinched waist and the turquoise beads and amazing.

mrs. obama is so lucky to be able to wear any color. her skin simply glows in this teal dress. and the cut skims her hips perfectly and the deep v neck gives her an hourglass appearance. it accentuates her curves without making them appear bigger or out of proportion.

the famous whitehouse/blackmarket sundress. great choice. her lovely shoulders are on display and figure flaws are minimized with the ephasis being on her waist. i do laugh when i recall that she was lauded for this dress being "reasonably priced at around $150". tell that one to thomas next time i go shopping!

is everyone slouching or is mrs. obama 7 feet tall? why does whoopi always have to look like she raided rosie o'donnell's closet? and sign me up for elisabeth hasselbeck's pump class, check out her arms!!! instead of bickering all the time, the view should promote arm wrestling. then finally elisabeth will have a chance to win something!

and since i am completely non-partisan(haha, i even typed that with a straight face), here is cindy mccain:
cindy mccain fashion panache-a-thon

mrs. mccain is very petite and slender which can prematurely age her and clothes can easily overwhelm her tiny frame or make her seem like a child playing dress up. she has mastered how to embrace dressing for the 50+ age set. she looks youthful without looking like she is trying to be young.

the architectural pleats and bow give her more shape and the gray shimmer gives her a warmer appearance. i want to wear this dress everyday of the week. but i would wear a nude pump instead of black.

i LOVED this oscar de la renta dress that mrs. mccain wore to the RNC. loved it!

and this was the only image of this dress i could find! love it! very retro/modern christian dior new look. love it. did i already say that? the full pleated skirt is so fresh and soft and the popped collared commands attention!

finally, this is how you rock a pant suit hilary. definitive color, crisp fabric, immaculate construction. AMEN!

viva the south!

i've had enough. let me make this very clear. the majority of the residents of the states located south of the mason dixon line are NOT pining for the days of slavery and african-american persecution. and the very few who do are a dying breed. i had a conversation with a man at church recently that left me steaming. i had mentioned to this man, brother j for jerk, that i had truly enjoyed living in the South, that the people were kind and generous and that most people from the South are proud to be called southerners. i find this to be true regardless of race. however, brother j made a few remarks to me suggesting that the white people of the South were proud of their history for all the wrong reasons, that white southerns were proud of a murderous and oppressive history. i will never deny that terrible and unfair things happened in the South, i am not ignorant to the fact that some still go on today. but i will also note that many of the most severe race riots occured in detroit, chicago and saint louis. the entire country has been guilty of hatred and intolerance and we should all feel pain because of this.
however, i am not embarassed, as was suggested by brother j, that thomas's ancestors fought for the confederacy. that is who they were and what they believed and what they thought they should do. their beliefs are not my beliefs. their thoughts are not my thoughts and since they are long dead, i cannot fully comprehend the things they fought for.
i do not speak for all on this subject, i merely speak for myself as an adopted southerner. let me be perfectly clear, the South is full of interesting people and a complex history. and unfortunately people are still treated poorly because of race, class, handicap, sexual orientation and religion. this is true in mississippi and missouri and new york and utah. what is most alarming to me is the people who speak the most ill of the Southland and her people are people who have never been there for more than a weekend visit to stone mountain. the South is more than rednecks and trailer parks and the stars and bars. yes, there are plenty of these in the South. but there are so many wonderful things there too. there are wonderful universities, incredible traditions and some of the best people i have ever known. how many other regions of the US can boast of decoration day, when all the graves of ancestors are decorated and honored? i cannot force people to see what i see. some people are determined to see only ugly things.
and if i hear another person from UTAH make a racist remark about black people, i will punch them in the face. no matter where we are.

legging opinion extravaganza

in february of 2007 i posed the question, leggins', yea or nay? when i originally posed the question, i was just needing feedback on this important subject as i had not yet formed an opinion. over a year and a half later, i think that i have finally formed my opinion.
i like them.
sometimes.
more like occasionally.
if they are worn the right way.
and if they are not worn as a pant replacement.
and if they are not actually just opaque tights being called leggings.

how did i come to make this decision?
first of all, i love to wear my running pants which resemble leggings. even though they are worn when i am sweating like a football player on a saturday in august in alabama and i am looking my worst, i still feel a bit chic when i wear them.
secondly, i observed images of leggings being worn correctly:

leggings are neither pants nor pantyhose. they are a subtle accessory. they complete and anchor an outfit without making a statement. the correct pair make your actual statement pieces standout. the key is to be more audrey hepburn and her signature black cigarette pants and less lindsay lohan, crack whore.

normally i don't recommend wearing white on the lower half of your body, but this particular subject does it well. her blue blazer becomes an effortless focal point and the length of the legging keeps the dress from looking like it is competing in length with the jacket. the leggings are a visual lengthener without screaming, "my skirt is WAY to short to be worn alone!"

some bad examples of leggings:

lindsay lohan(who else?). her leggings are obviously footless tights worn with a too short tunic top. the monochromatic color scheme is not slimming. the camera flashes reflect off of the tights and brings your eyes to her thighs. few people want attention on their thighs. the overall look screams, "i forgot my PANTS! this is all your fault dina lohan!"

PVC leggings. these should only be worn by steven tyler at a concert. and even then you don't want to be on the front row. nothing shows off more flaws or accentuates more bulges than rubber hose legs. if you are going to a dance class or going snorkeling or are on your way to hell, you are fine. otherwise, TAKE THEM OFF! heavens to besty, we don't want to look like fergie!

a few last thoughts:

1. back in around the 3rd century BC, leggings were called hosa. they were worn by all sorts of military personnel as then went to conquer in colder climates. they were invented by the visigoth tribes of ancient germany. of course, the idea was stolen by the romans so that is who gets credit. leggings have made appearances all throughout the history of costume in many different incarnations. let us all remember that leggings(hosa) are as old as sand, and that we should be honoring a legacy, not flaunting an open reference to jazzercise gear

2. leggings are tricky! if you want to wear a slim black pant, do just that! find a nice medium weight black pant with more obvious side seams and fly(avoid the camel toe) and for the love all cross stitch, BACK POCKETS are a must! then proceed to channel your best audrey hepburn or lucille ball.

3. if you have muscular or well rounded calves as i do, avoid leggings, or any pant for that matter, that cut straight across the widest part of your leg.

4. leggings give a dress a more casual vibe. use your descretion as to where they can be appropriately worn. when i was in utah this past summer, i was able to attend the temple. as i was leaving, TWO unassociated women left the dressing room wearing leggings. neither of their dresses were anywear near knee length and one sweet spirit had excessive cleavage exposed. leggings do NOT make a mid-thigh dress long enough. and leggings should NEVER be worn to the temple. please folks. it's the house of the Lord, not the mall.

5. i think the most difficult question to answer is, is it okay to wearing leggings with dresses that would otherwise be too short or revealing alone? yes and no. is the dress tight and mid thigh? NO! is the dress loose and flowing and only a inch or two above where it needs to be? YES! are they true leggings or are they thick tights? in my opinion(and that's all it is), tights should be worn with things that are knee length. tights are more revealing and sheer. a legging can be worn with a tunic or shirtwaist or trapeze style dress that is almost knee length to guarantee a few more inches of coverage. the legging does need to be thick enough so that bulges, dimples and other lines are obscured. they should provide some modicum of warmth. if the dress is exceeding short, then you might as well put real pants with it, because you aren't fooling anybody. you are giving the illusion of wearing a miniskirt. you are merely wearing something that is too short for proper wear and should then be worn as a shirt.

opinions???

change schmange

the buzzword of the 2008 presidential election is CHANGE. both parties are claiming that there is an undeniable need for change. while this rallying cry seems to appeal to the masses, i am done with it. it needs to be retired. i am a child of the reagan revolution. i still believe that the united states of america is a "shining city upon a hill". i know that our country was divinely founded. i also know that our country has flaws that need to be remedied. but i am proud to be an American. i am proud to say that what we have here in this country is the best on earth. our number one goal should not be change, it should be improvement. i know that americans are inherently good. we need to improve who we are each day.

hurray

hurray for britney spears. at least you look like a high-priced call girl now. seriously though. you should consider promoting a work out video.

hurray for the jonas brothers. thank you for channeling the beatles and bringing back the rock n' roll suit.

hurray for miley cyrus. you look like a 15 year old should look. i'll forgive you for the shoes.

hurray for zac efron. you are still taking yourself too seriously to smile, and too seriously to spell your name with a k, but this retro inspired skinny suit doesn't look costumey at all.

fashion craptacular

looks i hate and no one should wear. EVER. PERIOD.

pegged baggy pants. or if you lived in my neck of the woods you referred to them as tight rolled. how many of you have been waiting patiently for awful to come back in style? besides those people that show up at wal-mart and the tire store completely unkempt and unwashed??? please, for the love of your thighs, don't make them look any worse by bringing ALL the attention to them in the worst way possible. if you love your thighs, show off your svelte goodness with a fitted pant or skirt. if you hate your thighs, camouflage them with a fitted pant or skirt that just skims your body and wear a fun accessory or shirt to take away the attention from your thighs. ballooning them out with layers of distressed denim is not the solution. neither is emphasizing them by creating a smaller ankle silhoutte. barf on you katie holmes. you are NOT avant garde. you are not creative. can you remember 1986? this was the last time this was cool and it wasn't flattering then either.

booties. they make me think of small socks for tennis or cooties. or butts for that matter. yuck town. there is a small place in the fashion world for booties. small. miniscule. if you want to look like you have bloated ankles or are 2 feet shorter, go get yourself a pair and then wear them to a warrant or quiet riot concert with your faded and fringed denim jacket. or if you are really feeling good about yourself and want to bring yourself down a notch or two, pair the booties with ill-fitting, rolled up khaki pants and a barely-held-on-with-a-smidgen-of-fabric-shirt that you just picked up off the floor a la keira knightly.

slippery looking plastic leggings and corsets. instead of singing the boys are back in town, i feel like i should be singing, the whores are back in town. besides the fact that i find the pussycat dolls insipid, disgusting, untalented and dead behind the eyes, they perpetuate the theory that women who dress like tramps and sing(read=whine, talk/sing, growl and breathe heavily) about sex are "free" and "liberated" and "proud of their sexuality". no gracias. and the leggings and corsets do nothing for them either. unless you are running in a 10k in the dead of winter and you need plastic pants to keep you warm, don't. wear. them. and corsets??? how "free" are you when you can't even take a breathe from the bottom of your lungs???

the booties, tights and dancewear combo. how seasonally illogical is this?

boots=cold

shorts=hot

tights under shorts=completely uncomfortable

zip up track jacket with short sleeves=sweaty looking

gray tank top=lawn mower chic

poop soup=hilary

when is your child officially sick?

if your child has a runny nose, are they sick?
what about perpetual visible boogers?
what if they cough occasionally but not persistently?
open and oozing sores?
closed and dry sores?
what if they have these symptoms but are acting like they are fine?
at what point does your child stay home?
do you ever say anything to other people about their child possibly being too sick to be around other children?
when are YOU officially sick?