spring into spring

though i am a committed lover of my personal color scheme, black, white and gray, occasionally i will start jonesing for some color. it is usually this time of year when all the missouri trees look like dry, split-endy hair and there is more ice and bone-chilling and soul-crushing gusts of wind than i can handle. that's when i need some color. not a lot. i could never do an all over full color outfit. i know my limits and what makes me happy in fashion. but lately, even my old stand-bys and not making the cut. i just want a few new items for my clothing repertoire to wear with all my black, white and gray pieces.
in no particular order.

1. the tiered skirt from down east basics in kiwi. i think this would look so great with so many of my gray items. but, it appears to have a drop waist style so i would probably buy it a size smaller so that i could wear it a little higher on my waist for a more current look. plus, it's jersey. BONUS. so if i want to leave it on the floor of my closet for 4 months and then pick it up and wear it on a whim, it will be wrinkle-free.


2. fitted sequin sweater from forever21. normally, blue and i run with different crowds. i just have never liked blue and i own only 1 blue thing in my closet, not counting denim. but, i really want to pair the sequins and that bright china blue with some of my black skirts. or open over a hanes t-shirt because i can't seem to get enough of them.




3. nautical stripe t-shirt from forever21. i don't buy the whole, "don't wear horizontal stripes EVER or you will look like a whale rule". i just don't. my rule is, "wear horizontal stripes if you darn well please and preferably if it's on a smaller part of your body". your posterior is never going to be a good place for stripes. but, we all had to suffer through that "juicy"-emblazoned-across-too-many-big-bums-ordeal of a few years ago and people throw fits about stripes? i digress. since i have been mistaken for a 13 year old boy, i can confidently wear stripes across my chest and not feel like a whale. plus, whatever this color is called(salmon, pale orange, bright peach, coral?), i love it and want to wear this with a high-waisted skirt in light blue. or peeking out from under a more serious blazer. or a dark, spaghetti strap dress.

4. beaded, paint stripey tunic from forever21. longsleeve gray t-shirt, cropped black pants a la audrey hepburn, ballet flats. done deal.

5. i am in love with this necklace tank from jc penney. but in coral, and that color is only available in stores. i could wear this with anything or nothing else. this shirt speaks for itself. i have a pair of bright yellow gladiator sandals that i think would love to be paired with this shirt and a pair of shorts and a gauzy tissue weight t-shirt.

6. i do believe these nude pumps from target will keep me from going over the edge until the trees starting blooming again. i love an all black outfit and a nude shoe. and i think they will be super adorable with a hanes t-shirt and rolled boyfriend jeans and a gigantic dramatic necklace once the weather warms up.

7. paint t-shirt from jcrew but they are hiding the link. worn over my pale blue pin stripe button up.

8. applique
t-shirt from jcrew. possibly with a black turtleneck? and a full skirt? and nude pumps?

9. necklace t-shirt from jcrew. but i am just torturing myself with this one. this was originally $152. and now it is sold out and only available on ebay. but i love it.

10. or this necklace t also from jcrew. also sold out. i am could have bought it a few months ago, but i told myself they would mark it down again. stupid stupid heidi.

a close up:

le sigh.



11. gray cardi from forever21. perhaps with the coral stripe t underneath?

12. graphic
pocket dress from target. my love of opaque black tights would have a field day with this one.

13. long sleeve red dress from target. i love the long sleeves. this dress looks more like a deep orange in real life. would look great with a long gold necklace and a tan. not that i advocate tanning. just an advocate of vitamin d. OR, nude fishnet tights and the nude pumps. holla!

14. d'orsay flats also from target. enough coverage to not look sloppy, enough foot nudity to show off by lime green toenail polish.

15. chambray shirt from old navy. it's like 1993 called and they want their shirt back. but i won't let them take it. black high waisted skirt, longsleeve white shirt underneath, layers and layers of colorful beaded necklaces, textured tights and sky high heels.

and on an unrelated note. i want these boots by cousin jessica. i saw some like them in the victoria's secret catalog last year and i almost died trying to get them but gave up because they aren't very practical. but i hate practicality and have reingnited my lust for them. i can't even explain it. love them.

outfits and the art of motorcycle maintenance

the new header makes this blog worth reading. thank you emily. you light up my life and keep me classy.

sometimes i feel like a week's worth of outfits have an unintentional theme. like one item of clothing keeps reappearing, or certain colors or a feeling keeps popping up. this week would be called "dressing and the art of motorcycle maintenance". not that i know anything about motorcycles. but i love black and boots and skulls.

fave items- i love these gunmetal colored boots. they were the first boots i purchased after we moved from savannah to KC.

dress was purchased at the gap in 1999 for $25. i have worn it at least a million times and it has made appearances at formal dinners, my wedding luncheon and while i was 8 months pregnant. a dream of a dress. never wrinkles. i could sleep in it and still look fresh.

metallic jacket purchased at target for $3.97.

note to self: foosball table adds ten pounds. right on the hips. additional note: move table.

fave item-black steve madden boots purchased on ebay for $60. regularly priced at $200.

but i really love everything in this outfit. this is what i would wear everyday if i could. black and gray and leather and my sparkly scarf.

2nd place fave item- white men's hanes t-shirt. pack of 5 for $9. i may dedicate a week of outfits to these shirts.

probably my fave outfit of the week
fave item- distressed boyfriend jeans. it was actually about 45 degrees one day and so i decided to show off the shapely ankles.



fave trend on me- i LOVE big cuffed jeans a la motorcyle/leave it to beaver/lumber jack style. i started wearing my pants like this 2 summers ago after i decided i hated all the lengths on my other jeans. and my new trend was born. i love it with high wedge sandals and flats. love it. amen.

fave item- goldenrod belt purchased for $1.97 at gap. actually purchased two of them with the intention of giving one to the first person who complimented me on wearing it.

gratuitous outfit post

i discovered this handbag at kohl's this week. think it needs to be a birthday present to myself. as soon as it's marked down to $10, like every other handbag in my closet. also, do you say handbag or purse? or pocketbook?




and i tried really hard to be creative this week, but there are so many more important things than outfits,(GASP!carie!) to worry about that it was a struggle to try and stay fresh and upbeat.

fave item: light blue cords from american eagle for 13 bucks. normally, blue and i aren't friends. but i think we may start dating. i figure if we see each other occasionally, perhaps we could at least have a working relationship.

fave item: ombre sweater coat purchased from ann taylor loft for cheapcheapcheap. (pre new moon viewing)

fave item: i'm trying really hard not to say high-waisted A-line skirt, but i can't. i feel like i would be betraying it. like i am embarassed of how much i wear it. but i'm not. i just can't keep her in the closet. runner up, jet bead necklace from grandma maxine.

secret tip- both my shirt and my sweater are tucked into my pantyhouse. never came untucked once thru church and wrestling matches. thanks mary shaffer!(ps-mary, i know you have a married name, but clark doesn't apply here. the clays are the clays, shaffers are the shaffers, i am a beck. that's how it works.)

fave item- red fake patent flats purchased at BYU bookstore.

fave item: white tie-neck blouse from express. but, these cords are a close second. they are twins to the light blue ones. (excuse my conical head. poofy ponytails are never as flattering in hindsight as they are in foresight.)

my hair is even more embarassing in this one. unworldy hair poof in front and straggly rat tail down the back. no one should be friends with me.

fave item- MY HAIR! what a little effort and product can do. big hair means you are closer to heaven. i wish i could pull this off everyday.

closer view:

fave item-too small animal print cardigan purchased for $2.97. and yet another appearance from good ol' long sleeve gray t-shirt.

and what i really look like around the house. after i run errands, pick up kiddies from school, fold laundry, wipe bottoms, kiss owies, scrape poop out of fingernails:

fave item- the fact that i am actually showered and my sweats are cleanish and my hair is brushed(and straightened) and i am not wearing a knit cap and considering that a "fashion statement".

final word-why have i owned this camera for over two years and i have yet to take the time to learn to take a better picture with it? really.

i die. bananas. shut it down.

as proof that i am working on my new years resolution to GO FOR IT! and wear more of my wardrobe and be more frugal and to create an outfit inspiration board, here are some recent outfit creations. surprise, it is mostly sunday stuff. otherwise it would be mostly sweaty gym clothes.
please to enjoy:

fave item: vintage silk scarf from china courtesy of my grandma beck

fave item: longsleeve gray t-shirt. because i die over longsleeve t-shirts that hit my knuckles and my hips.



fave item: silver jessica simpson heels. a joy and a pleasure to wear.

fave item: high-waisted black skirt. i have to talk myself out of wearing it each sunday.

i apologize for the horrible hair and slippers in this one. much cuter with sequin converses and a hairbrush.
fave item: $3 miley cyrus t-shirt from wal*mart.

i'll learn to stand like a lady one of these days. or to quote my grandma bonnie, "heidi, you would be perfect if you would just act like a lady." cut just like a knife.

fave item: opaque black tights. i feel great when i wear them. more polished. and skinnier. and warmer. opaque black tights may just be my signature look.

if only my life were a british costume drama...

...i most likely would have died from fluff in the lungs, or insanity, or childbirth, or an inordinate use of the word offence.

my darling sister-in-law sarah lent me her copy of north and south over christmas to watch at my leisure. last night i stayed up until the wee hours of the morn watching and rewatching it. north and south you ask? that cheesy mini-series from the 80s with the late great patrick swayze?
no, not that one. this one:

not this one:

with this guy:

not this guy:

but upon further picture perusal, who could resist watching a little of this???

unfortch, there is little muscle flexing and bodice ripping in the british north and south. nonetheless, i highly recommend to all. it's in the same vein and pride and prejudice and other jane austen social commentary/love stories. but not too much social commentary to make it boring and school like. perish the thought!!!

just go for it!!!

i love resolutions. and i love typing them up on my blog. and i don't mind failing at my resolutions. i just appreciate that some part of me wants to try and do better sometimes. while i only whole-heartedly and officially completed 3 of my 10 resolutions from last year, i don't feel bad. there is always room for improvement. and i think the real trick is to print this out and hang it somewhere i will see it as a nagging reminder.

1. two week menu planner. as soon as i made this my resolution last year, i never did it again. ridiculous.

2. be nicer. this will probably be the hardest one. i have no natural inclination to be nice. it's like i swallowed a gallon of vinegar. it is truly a task i need to work on.(niceness, not drinking vinegar. i'll save that for emily curfew. and eating beets.)

3. read the book of mormon 3 times. this was one resolution from last year that i completed with flying colors so i thought that i would up the ante and read it 3 times. reading left me feeling great. just one step closer to being nicer.

4. tight as a tick. this is my workout mantra. overall good health often requires you to hold on tight to your goals. like a tick to skin.
a. this includes no junk january.
b. and only 24 hours of junk food in february. (my version of junk does not include hot chocolate or vanilla wafers or granola bars, as long as they aren't the chocolate dipped kind. i still cap the night off with a steaming hot chocolate and make it through long afternoons with a handful of cereal or wafers.)
c. no complaining in the gym. if i can't say that i love lifting and working hard, i will say nothing. i was remarkably silent in my weightlifting class this past tuesday.
d. run for fun and distance, not time or speed. competing with myself is only fun to a certain point.

5. be a better blogger while spending less time on the internet. i love reading updates but hate spending time doing mindless things. recording family events and personal opinions should be an outlet for enjoyment, not mind-numbing time wasting.

6. nightly journal moment a la elder eyring. in relief society on sunday we watched a video clip of elder eyring discussing how he or someone he knows(i can't remember now) would record just a few lines each night in their journal about how the Lord had blessed their day. since i am abundantly blessed, far more than i deserve, this should be a cakewalk. and i look forward to really reflecting on my day and how i spent my time.

7. blog outfit posting and closet corkboard. for personal inspiration and reference. sometimes a little outfit effort is all i need to go from feeling schlumpy to motivated.

YEARLY PERSONAL MOTTO-
just go for it

this was inspired by my dear friend jamey in describing her sister's fashion sense. she said, " i love how she just goes for it!" it struck me like a lightning bolt. i thought to myself, "that's how i want to be in everything." i just want to go for it. i don't want worry, or anxiety or whatever to hold me back. as i get older, i realize more and more that it is myself holding me back. dreams will be achieved, goals will be met, opportunities will be realized if i just go for it.
1. all out workouts. i am ready for the challenge.
2. all out church calling effort. no calling is too daunting.
3. all out mothering. my family is my greatest joy, a clean house may have to be sacrificed.
4. all out fashion. who says there needs to be an event to dress up. i will make it an event.

here's to 2010! BRING IT!

black dress dilemma

my sister is getting married in march. but since this blog is about me, i need a dress for said wedding. her colors are black and white and her dress is long and body conscious. and i am all for that. so i want a long dress in black to mimic her look. but i need some input. dear reader, what do you think? in a comment say exactly what you think. and perhaps i'll even consider your opinions in my final decision.

for the link to heather's dress click HERE!
this one, which we will call cleopatra:

for more detail click HERE!

or this one, which we will call deep V:

for more detail click HERE!

really, let your opinions fly. spill your guts out. this is your chance.

dress design for shabby apple dresses

this is my dress design for shabby apple dresses. have you visited shabby apple dresses? you should. i love them. modesty and fashion are not mutually exclusive and shabby apple is a great example of that. also, be sure to check out the yellow rose bridal because they also carry shabby apple dresses!!! if virtue is power, then virtue in action promoting modesty through fantastic clothing options!
anywhooo,
i have entitled my design "sundae picnic", because it was a treat to design. so punny.

as you can see, i am hardly the world's best sketch artist, but i've got vision. this is a one piece dress with the look of a three-piece ensemble.

the top half is a crisp white blouse with short sleeves, pearl button closure on the arm and a large inverted pleat on the chest with mulitple rows of pintucking down to the waist.
the waist has a large banded waistband in the fabric of the skirt and sits on the natural waist. it can either be worn with the belt/sash or sans belt. the belt/sash can be worn in three ways.
1. tied as bow on hip or front or back
2. tied as an obi sash in the front
3. add a large O ring and make it a belt. my vision is a natural wood ring.

i suggest that the colors of the belt/sash should include bright goldenrod yellow or animal print.

the full knee length skirt details include a large inverted pleat that mirrors the inverted pleat of the top only without the pintucking. the fabrics i envision for the skirt include a rich green floral print or a royal blue dupioni shantung (silk, but realistically polyester). for funnsies i would include a touch of tulle for shape and the great sound of the fabric rustling with the tulle. who doesn't love that?

my inspiration for this dress came from several classic movies. picnic with william holden(delish!), west side story and a little bit of the sound of music. the sound of music is probably best reflected in the green floral print.

add a pair of open toe heels in a complimentary color or print(houndstooth anyone?) and you are set!

it don't matter if you are black and brown

wearing black and brown together has always been one of my biggest fashion don'ts, right up there with not mixing metals and making sure to avoid the dreaded VPL. however, for about the last 5 years, my personal style mantra has evolved into, "it doesn't have to match, it just has to go". more than following exact rules, dressing should follow your gut; it should involve feeling. in my never-ending fashion magazine/internet perusal, i have noticed there is a way to make a definitive brown black combination work. it can be quite precarious and frankly, the prospect of purposefully not matching can be a daunting task. the effect has to be slightly haphazard, a bit thrown together, but at the same time, the individual pieces needs to look well thought out.

rules(or suggestions)

1. make an outfit equation. avoid 50/50 black and brown proportions. one color needs to be relegated to a secondary position, or an accent color. like a good movie, the supporting players in an outfit can make the most impact.

2. the shades of brown do not have to match exactly. varied tones add interest.

3. go with your gut.

4. have confidence in your wearing of black and brown.

5. if it makes you super nervous to wear black and brown together, ease into it. start small with a belt or leather bracelet. and if you worry about matching belts and shoes and purses, make it easy on yourself by choosing those accessories in completely different colors. like red or eggplant.

my theory explained on a two-year old:

tan/brown multi leopard print cardigan, green hooded front-pocket dress, black leggings, brown boots. (80% of this outfit is from target.)
ps-i also have started mixing gold and silver. when else will i ever wear my hard-earned young women's medallion if i am afraid of clashing with my wedding rings?

finally feeling lucky

i have been a reader of lucky magazine from the beginning. i knew that a magazine that bills itself as a magazine about shopping was right up my alley. for a few years a relished every issue. i found the articles interesting, the point of view fresh and the immense amount of photos, descriptions and suggestions welcome. however, in the past couple of years, lucky has lost it's luster. each issue has become more and more contrived. the editor's seem hell bent on making this magazine appeal to fewer and fewer people. i understand that i am inching my way out of the primary demographic by growing older and more sensible(it burns!), however i do feel that if a magazine is truly about shopping and the art thereof, more eternal truths about shopping should included in the expanse of the publication that apply to everyone, and not just to very skinny, tall, willowy, wealthy 20 year olds with no jobs, no children and no responsibilities. how can a magazine continue to be profitable when it only appeals to less than 1% of the population?
that being said, the september 2009 issue of lucky has been the best in years. however, it is not soley due to the genius of the lucky staff. the credit lies in the companies advertising the in magazine. so many retailers have been so hard hit by the recession, they are actually spending their coin on creating clothing lines that are versatile and wearable as well as affordable. a revelation!!! some of the best were from Kmart(gasp, so fantastic, very pleased), dillard's, macy's, forever 21, charlotte russe, payless shoes, target and the gap(really, the gap sells denim?).
lucky is slowing making strides towards this same conclusion. while many pages are filled with ridiculously priced items, more and more features are aimed at true bargain shopping. in prior editions many of their bargain pages only contained 5 or fewer items. or if they were pushing a feature on "everything under $100!", the items under $100 were going for about $99.95. pretension and exclusivity were key to their marketing strategy. that only works for a while as those of us who have been excluded or overlooked start looking elsewhere to meet out fashion needs. money speaks louder than words. frankly, lucky left me feeling unlucky.
i'll be the first one to say that i LOVE looking at $400 pair of leather stuart weitzman shoes. or a completely unreasonable cashmere ralph lauren scarf for $342 can make me swoon. fashion is supposed to be a touch ridiculous, it's a form of personal expression. however, not everything is a splurge-worthy. as fashion maven sarah jessica parker said at the launch of her own budget dave and barry's line, "fashion is a right, not a luxury". she's right. she's so right, she even had t-shirts emblazoned with that saying.

my very favorite ad from the september 2009 issue was from ann taylor loft. i was on the verge of tears when my eyes absorbed it's fashion goodness. simple. wearable. layerable. understated. and lots of gray. that will always win me over. the clothing is versatile and the ad a whole is a recipe of how to style your fall wardrobe. many of the items may look like things you already own. what makes this ad so special is how it subtley updates the classic look with a few trendy splashes. enticing women to spend because the things are in reach and won't destroy and entire paycheck or condemn your family to a month of pancakes and ramen.
for example, this is how females over the age of 16 should be wearing their jeans. skinny jeans are a great trend, but being realistic to your body type is more important. instead of a skinny jean, try a long straight leg with some stretch in a dark wash. anything too skinny will emphasize hip to ankle ratio rather than emphasizing beautiful curves. nobody wants to be an inverted triangle, looking like an overstuffed box perched on top of a broom.

love the shoes: wedges are my fave. they give neccesary height and elongation but don't take away balance.
love the boots: sophisticated and elegant.
love the hobo bag: the shape is reminiscent of 80s fashion without screaming molly ringwald.
love the sleevless drapey sweater: this one piece can update so many items you already own.
love the white blouse: really, do i even need to expound upon the obvious?
love the purple: autumnal but not drab. especially with the brown and gray combo!!!
love the hem options: the same cut of pants, worn so many ways, cuffed, cropped, tucked and out.

hurray for you ann taylor loft. hurray for you!!!

bienvenidos a miami

if you are not already watching burn notice, tune in for the summer finale thursday night at 9pm, 8 central. seriously, do yourself a favor and become a fan of this show. at our house, we started watching it because we thought it looked like a show that would be easy to make fun of. and it does have plenty of ridiculous moments, but it also has plenty of moments of pure entertainment value. each week as thomas and i watch it, i try and convince him of how we can make halloween costumes for ourselves of each of the characters. and if i want to portray something for halloween, you know it is hot stuff.

character breakdown:
fiona glenanne- ex-girlfriend of michael weston. she is part-time un-licensed bounty hunter, full time high-heel shoe wearer. fiona has a history of hijacking weapons for gun smugglers. she includes as her hobbies building bombs and blowing things up. she finds it neccesary to wear booty shorts and halter tops at all times.

actress gabrielle anwar portrays fiona. you may remember her from wild hearts can be broken(one of the best movies of all time) and a few choice sci-fi channel and lifetime movies.

5 degrees of separation- 1. gabrielle anwar portrayed sonora webster in wild hearts. 2.sonora webster was born in waycross, georgia. 3. thomas is the king of waycross, georgia. 4.thomas is married to me. 5. that makes me famous

madeline westen- chain-smoking den mother of the burn notice crew, real(fake) mother of michael westen.

in short. awesome character. maddie is always a treat when she gets to be included in the job. i for one, am so glad that they fixed her hair from season one. i want to buy an obnoxious amount of hoop earrings and pashmina scarves because of her. when are she and sam axe going to hook it up? for real?

michael westen- "burned" former spy who loves to wear pastels, especially pink. he apparently likes to live on the edge and he can't just take a job at mcdonald's. or at least if he wants to use his technical skillz, he should apply at geek squad. he lives above a night club, which is a running theme in the show.

michael has single handedly brought back the suit and i applaud him for it. not since miami vice has a suit been so cool and yet so attainable. and yogurt. one can never get enough active cultures. a small tub a of yogurt is the perfect accessory to the suit.

hopefully his spy skillz will help him beat his recent glaringly guilty DUI charges.

and my personal fave-

SAM AXE!!! this show would just be a modern macgyver without sam axe. i love this guy. he is what keeps the show funny and fresh. i want to name something sam axe just so that i get to say it everyday. "go answer the sam axe front door." "where the heck are my sam axe car keys". or perhaps make it my new expletive. "would you stop wearing your sam axe shoes on the sam axe carpet?"

sam is a former navy seal and he likes to bring that fact up in every conversation. he also seems to be a magnet for rich single women who like to loan him expensive cars. he mentions in EVERY episode some "buddy" that has loaned him something and has provided some crucial informations. my favorite sam axe quality(besides the floral shirts and linen pants and loafers. and gold chains. can't forget about the gold chains.) is his use of the pseudonym of chuck finley. whenever sam axe needs a cover, it will be chuck finley.

who is chuck finley? only a former california angel who was married to tawney kitaen, she of whitesnake music video fame. ms. kitaen was the playboy model who dated david coverdale, lead singer of whitesnake and she displayed a talent for doing the splits and other gymnastical feats on the hoods of cars. so it makes perfect sense for sam axe to use chuck finley as his alias.


"if the devil had a name it would be chuck finley" -sam axe

things that i have learned from burn notice:

-your phone can be turned into a tracking device/bomb/computer hard drive stealer/hand to hand combat weapon at any moment.

-once your phone has called a tapped phone line, all your phonecalls can now be tapped too.

-C2 is used to make explosives and it looks like a block of lard.

-pretending to be drunk or uneducated can get you access to a lot of places.

-if you are looking for a turncoat spy/informant/drugdealer/con artist/money launderer/ illegal modeling-sex slave business, try a night club.

-miami is crawling with former spies, arms dealers, and hit men from former soviet bloc countries.

-miami is secret spy world headquarters.

in short. watch this show. and rent seasons 1 and 2. today.

1993 called, they want their bodysuit back

were bodysuits all the rage at your junior high? because the were the fashion choice of champions at mine. georgeff-baker junior high had an overabundance of bodysuits. for some reason, we 12, 13, and 14 year old girls thought it was the coolest thing in the world to wear a tight, swimsuit-like top with our jeans all day long. it was the epitome of tacky. tacky with a crotch snap. i confess that i had one. i begged for it. it was long-sleeved and jewel-tone purple. the scallopped neckline was cut so that the buttons on the front were supposed to pull apart suggestively so that you could catch a glimpse of cleavage. fortunately(or unfortunately if you were a pubescent male classmate of mine) i have never had any type of bust and so a quick glimpse of my training bra wasn't ever going to happen.


fast forward 17 years(it causes me physical pain to type that). i receive the chadwicks quarterly catalog. it makes me feel ancient and uncomely that i receive a catalog that advertises hidden tummy panels and mom jeans. however, surprise of all surprises, they have some GREAT stuff!!!
i ordered this easter dress from chadwicks for about $40:
and that brings me to my most recent obession. i want a bodysuit. and chadwick's has them. there, i said it. i want a shirt with a crotch snap. but not just any old bodysuit, it needs to be a collared shirt bodysuit. i think it will be a great layering piece in the fall and winter. i love a crisp collared shirt and i hate that they always get bunchy underneath a sweater or jacket or come untucked from your pants or skirt. a collared shirt body suit is the perfect solution. even though a bodysuit goes against everything i stand for, i still want it. and it's only $29.99