Bathroom selfies were born at church

I spend a good amount of time in the church bathroom. Blythe is fascinated with it's inner and outer workings and I normally chase her out of there multiple times a sunday. I believe the bathroom selfie was born of this. Everyone needs entertainment and occasionally I entertain Blythe this way. For the record, I do not like the word selfie.

Also, I only ever wear "summer sweaters" in winter or to church. Summer sweater is too much of an oxymoron in the South.  Final thought, how hot does it get in California? I feel like I see California people in long sleeves and jackets all over the internet. What's up with that? Does it cool that significantly at night in the western part of the United States?

Wearing this much white at one time means that very little scares me anymore. 

on being crazy

I felt like a blogger this morning! I pulled out this blue checkered shirt that I haven't worn since my hard core blogging days and I paired it with whatever was closest/neutralish in my closet and then I slapped a belt around my waist. If that's not mom style blogging in it's most basic form, I don't know what is. and then the crowning moment was at church when a lovely lady stopped me in the hall and said that if she wore all these patterns together she would look crazy, but I make it work. The secret is that...I'm crazy! But that's hardly the world's best kept secret.  

I recenty spent about an hour recently going through old heidiluxe blog posts.  Then a dear friend of mine said she had done the same. The pull to post here hasn't been strong lately. I just don't wear a ton of fashionable things of late. I wear my uniform of items that don't poke me in the belly and i like it. But part of me still wants to post! Especially really high quality church bathroom shots like this!

I got the skirt for a dollar at goodwill because my dear scarlett I

is alwaysdetermined that I buy the dollar color of the day. I'm trying to ignore the 90s but this polyester dream that completely over accentuates my hips found me. Class of 98 and teenage body issues i thought i had overcome forever.

air dry supafly

i've been keeping up the wash and go hairstyle for about 2 solid weeks now. i must say that i really like it. i took multiple pictures on a few different days and the results are positive. i still have to blow dry the crown for a quick minute or the wet hair will plaster itself to my forehead like a greasy car salesman but other than that it's delightfully minimal. 

 i wash like normal and then when i get out of the shower i immediately scrunch and spray my hair thoroughly. i never comb it out. sometimes after it's fully dry, i respray some parts just to perk it up.

these are my products of choice. not first choice, because i only spent about 4 minutes purchasing them on separate occasions. i was actually looking for the got2b beach trippin' salt fusion waving spray, which came highly recommened, but is apparently only available at walmart in my area or by ordering it online. my walmart stocks it's shelves once every other halley's comet appearance. it's the worst walmart on the planet. i think satan must be it's general manager and he is definitely reaching his goal of getting me to swear in my head. FRANKLIN DELANO! so i settled for this not your mother's beach babe texturizing sea salt spray simply because it was on the shelf and the kids were about to explode. it's adequate. i'd still like to try something different for a little more lift and texture, but, the not your mother's spray is very light and smells pretty good. i added the abba root lifter to compensate for how heavy my hair is. i actually found the abba root lifter at tjmaxx. so, that was a stroke of luck. 

so, in all. i'm pleased. 

I love sweat

I know what you're thinking. Why are you showing me pictures of you flexing and the muscle definition isn't that great? I'm no Arnold Schwarzenegger, but that's not my goal. Here's the thing, I think it's great and I'm really excited about it and that's what makes it so great. I love that fitness and health are so much more than being thin. I've seen so much improvement and I absolutely miss the gym when I'm not there. I'm a big believer in the class. I can create a pretty good workout routine on my own in the weight room. But being challenged by an instructor is fantastic.  I feel I've made such great strides because I attend specific classes because I know the instructor will push me. Her name is Lisa. I have a big time girl crush on her. I haven't started following tailing her home after class but I am one step away from prank calling her and breathing heavy into the phone. 

I eat a lot of this stuff. Lots of protein. Very little bread. I definitely miss bread, but I don't miss bloating. I have 3 eggs for breakfast everyday. Post workout I have a muscle milk shake or banana.  Lunch is almost always bistro sensations mozzarella and artichoke chicken sausage. I love it.  I normally have at least a cup or more of broccoli with lunch and dinner. For dinner I try to make a regular meal and choose healthy portions. (I like cheese.) Yes, i am hungry sometimes. I think the first two weeks of a healthy diet plan you're going to be hungry. We live in a culture where we over consume everything. I have 25 skirts in my closet. Nobody needs that many and nobody needs to feel full all the time. I can never be one of those people who never splurge. I like junk food. I'm not going to lie. I'm not very good at just having a little bit but I'm way better at just a little than never at all. If I completely deprive myself, I will crack and consume 45,000 calories in a 36 hour period. That's not good either. Frankly, i don't want to eat a handful of flax seed or get excited about half a sweet potato. That is why myfitnesspal works so well for me. I put in what I'm eating and it calculates how many calories I've got for the rest if the day. It only guilts you if you get too few calories for the day. And too few calories is easily remedied with a scoop or five of Nutella. With an apple of course. 

I'm not a perfect eater by far. I make fantastic chocolate chip cookies. I make great homemade pizza. My mexi-shells are amazing. Don't get me started on my red velvet brownie cake with cream cheese frosting. Eating right is the absolute hardest part of fitness for me. But, I've spent too much of my life thinking I'm overweight, when *newsflash* I've never been overweight. I've been ridiculously unhealthy. I've had a terrible body image perception, but never been overweight. Food is our friend. It's a blessing. And I must teach my children healthy food and fitness decisions through my example. 

<steps off soapbox> 

So, this is my weekly work out plan. Unfortunately, I don't space my upper and lower body workouts out that well and give myself adequate recovery, but what can you do? You can just work hard. 

Monday- body combat for 60 minutes. It's like dancing but without dancing. Lots of punching and kicking, balance and non stop cardio. 

Tuesday- body sculpt. I wish i could fit this class in everyday day. Weightlifting and strength training. I feel best after this class. 

Wednesday- intense fit. It's a variety of weight training, conditioning and running sprints(and vomiting). Lots of lunging with weights. We once did 100 burpees in an hour. It was delightfully horrible.

Thursday- I try to get up early and run at least 4 miles and then spend some time on abs and core. 

Friday- either spinning or interval. Interval is similar to intense fit but with no sprinting. Non- stop action with around 10 seconds between activities. 

Saturday I normally don't workout because I do so much yard work and housework and family stuff. I prefer the family stuff. My goal for the summer is to start getting up earlier and run, but I never see my husband because he gets home so late so I have a really hard time going to bed early. Saturday morning exercise gets sacrificed. And its not like I'm sleeping in anyway. 7am feels like a treat after Monday through Friday. But I miss regular long Saturday runs. They were my fave. 

What do you do? Who inspires you? My beastie Bratalie inspires me. She's also on myfitnesspal and she encourages and motivates. Plus, she glows. 

Laid back

The laziest blogger who ever was. I finally washed my mirror, but with mouthwash. 

The calculated half tuck. Yay or nay? 

There's something decidedly un-laid back about planning your laid back half tuck. 

And in an ongoing effort to reduce the time I spend on my appearance, I'm trying to just air dry my hair, but using product to make it look somewhat piecy and defined. As I write that I feel like that means I'm giving up. Air hair don't care, not too much that is. but, streamlining my life is my goal. 

Summer goals for a streamlined life:

1. Air dried hair. Find a good product to help me out with this. 

2. Summer reading program for adults at the library

3. Specific home organization goals- organize silverware drawer. Weekly goodwill drop off. Furniture refinishing. 

My first refinishing project: 

Also on the docket is new fabric on my dining room chairs. 

4. Fitness fitness fitness. And food. I'm at a really good place exercise wise lately. I've had great muscular development in the past two months. If could just try and eat better, I'd so ripped. I start out each day great. I log into myfitnesspal and rock it for most of the day. But, I'm a baker. And self control goes out the window. 

5. Develop more spiritual opportunities with my children. Children who are taught religion and spirituality are ultimately better decision makers because they have been presented with topics they either accept or reject from an early age. Plus, more chances to talk with my kids on a myriad of topics and show them how spirituality is a part of everything in our world. 

So. Those are my top 5 for a laid back summer. 

What I've been reduced to

Last week I got the bright idea to create a post on my clothing uniform. I wear nearly the same outfit everyday. It works for me. What I lack in creativity, I make up for in happiness. As I was creating the post, I had Scarlett take a few picture for me. I figured that she's old enough to take over as staff photographer. As she's snapping away, little Blythe crawls over to her grabs her legs. Scarlett is startled by the hubbub and drops the camera. On the baby's face. This is all happening in slow motion. My camera is far from fawncy, but she does the job. Chaos ensues and everyone is crying. I'm crying the most, I've got the most practice at it. Camera is broken forever. Scarlett is bereft. Blythe is bruised. At that moment a dear friend walks in my house and the illusion of my perfect life is shattered 

forever. (Hahahaha. Now that's comedy if you believe that.) This is what I'm reduced to:

Dirty mirror self pictures in the hallway on my phone. My uniform: cropped pants, blousy top, gladiator sandals, air dried hair in a braid. It screams, "MOM ON A MISSION!" 

Shirt- anthropologie

Pants- gap

We just got an anthropologie in town. It's pretty exciting for us(well, just me really. Thomas mostly gets excited over sports and politics). We have been suffering from a dearth in shopping variety around these parts. I've never been a big anthropologie fan, mostly because its quite cost prohibitive, but I think I'm going to turn into one of those people who foam at the mouth when given the prospect of venturing there for a looky loo. They just have fun stuff. And Thomas's new office is going to be in the building above it. This may prove to be a problem. 

Boom

back by unpopular demand

hi. are we still friends?

 i know, i know. i claimed i was "back". but i wasn't. really, it's not you. it's me. and i'm not going to go all rick astley on you and claim i'm not going to give you up, let you down, or desert you. 

i'm not promising anything. but you don't come here for empty promises, do you? 

so, i dislike when really great things hit overkill level. supersaturation, if you will. 

take these fake jcrew bubble necklaces:

they are so fun! i loveLOVElove mine! but i love it less all the time because they are everywhere! i don't want to sound like some weirdo who canNOT be associated with anything mainstream (cough, cough hipsters everywhere), but it makes me sad that one day my daughters are going to laugh and ask to borrow it on dress like it's 2012 day. fun necklaces shouldn't turn into the butt of a joke!

 i can admit that i like kelly clarkson. i think chevron is fun. there is no shame in eating at olive garden because you like the food. some things are popular because they are GREAT! but, when the market becomes so saturated with an item, i find that it really dates it quickly. 

par exemple:

what year do you think of when you see these?

1999 right? but i don't want to party like it's 1999 when i see these. i think, "ew gross why would anyone over 10 want to wear these?"

but GROWN WOMEN sported these. we sold them at my college job for 15 cents apiece to.... grown women. 

sure, the faux jcrew bubble necklace is a far cry from a butterfly clip, but nothing fantastic should become a cliche.

how bout a year for this one:

1994! love it or hate it now, you had it. and then you hated it because everyone had it. personally, i loved it because it looked good on me. layered haircuts are my friend, my friends. i felt this haircut was a coming of age moment for me. i shed my decade of perms or grown out perms for this cut and i felt like things were finally looking up. because after a perm, things can only look up. BUT, because of the haircut overkill, it leaves a bad taste in your mouth. 

SAVE THE FAUX J CREW BUBBLE NECKLACE! 

and here's my cute baby:

the end!

going off of the rails on a crazy train

bachelor pad finale was on tonight! and while the ending was epic, this ensemble stole the show. 

what the heck is going on here? i'll ask it again, what the heck is going on here? it's a triple threat of claire's icing reject earrings, sparkly face stickers and a old broken bike chain welded into a headdress? jamie claims that she wasn't looking for love, and she's serious about it. would this attract any guy? ever? she obviously owns a metal detector. all of that metal must have been magnetic and that's how she can accept phone calls. or communicates with other planets. i wish i could have found a full outfit shot. her dress was covered in gigantic gold paillette sequins. it was blinding. a fashion debacle of epic proportions. she was doing nothing to dispel her image of being the conductor of the crazy train. 

and i don't even hate head pieces. i think my girl crush nicole richie rocks them. 

throwing on every single trendy item you could find does not a stylish outfit make- yoda

before you leave the house, look in the mirror and remove one accessory" -coco chanel

happy girls are the prettiest

unfortunately, even though i am 32 years old, have a wonderful husband, 3 great kids, am a (mostly) productive citizen in our society, both ridiculously smart and ridiculously humble, i still get hung up on the number written on the inside of my pants. not just hung up, but that stupid little number that only indicates fit and not self-worth, can really hammer me mentally. i bought a pair of jeans this week that fit me well but i almost didn't buy them because they weren't the size that i deemed okay for me to wear. it's embarrassing to publicly admit that. it makes me so angry because i am a happy and fulfilled person, dang it! i hate being mentally unhealthy, especially when i know i have my girls looking at me and i never, ever(ever!) want them to feel this way. when i was in college i dated a guy who told me that he wouldn't marry me unless i got plastic surgery on my nose. not even my chest(which we at least be remotely understandable being that we live in a world where breast implants are as ubiquitous as cell phones and hot pockets), but my nose!!! and the absolutely worst part of it is that i actually contemplated it. talk about a low point in my life. if anyone ever says something like this to one of my kids i would knock them into next week. i definitely approve of maternal violence as the antidote for cruel comments. for years i couldn't look in a mirror without staring at my nose and wondering if it was worse than it really was. i never thought there was anything wrong with my nose until that point. it was a lot of wasted, useless thinking. thinking that imprinted itself on my brain that i still occasionally refer to. 

but, i'm not doing that anymore. 

 i starting training for another half marathon recently and i discovered something. when i look like this:

i feel awesome. better than awesome, i feel amazing. i don't care about my nose, i don't care about my stomach overhang, i don't care about being slow or the fact that i'm panting like a dog hanging out the window of a moving vehicle. all my appearance issues are put in perspective. i have been blessed with an incredible body and i am using it. i know that i am being healthy. it's the best kind of medicine for me. i stink like dead fish because i sweat like a hairy man on the bayou, but i don't care. exercise makes me happy. and "happy girls are the prettiest." audrey hepburn

the end

what's working for me

this is what's working for me lately. 

1.

i've lived in this pencil skirt and another jcrew no. 2 pencil skirt this summer. they fit my birthing hips. i love them both. i'll tell you what though, i am tempting fate by wearing this skirt and holding the baby. she seems to sense when i am wearing it and likes to drop a bomb on it. i had to dry clean it twice last week. 

now i'm off to conquer the world to find jeans that fit my birthing hips. denim is intimidating. 

2.

delectably moist(sorry jamey) cupcakes. prepare a regular cake mix following box instructions. add 1 cup sour cream and one instant pudding mix. bake as directed. even your friends that don't like cake(i'm looking at you paula "i just want fruit salad" roberts) will think they are a taste of heaven.  they don't really even need frosting. but let's not get crazy. 

3.

tortilla land tortillas

the best tortillas ever. a friend of mine tipped me off to these. i'll never go back to boring ol' tortillas. i find mine at costco in the same case as the fresh pastas. the kicker about these are that you cook them yourself. plop them on a hot skillet for about 30 seconds and flip. they taste like the tortillas you get at cafe rio.  ole!

4.

montreal seasoned hamburgers on a slider size bun

the bomb dot com. montreal seasoning is the 2nd best thing to come out of canada. first place being a 3 way tie between caillou, my SIL sarah and instant potato flakes. my local publix sells montreal patties pre-seasoned and i just throw them on the george foreman. they are perfection. but, if i am forced to make them myself, i take the patty, lightly brush it with olive oil and then generously rub it with montreal seasoning. i like the slider size bun because it's just enough bun, not too much. it makes it looks like a hamburger on a commercial, meat just spilling out of the bun.  

5. 

lash accelerator and maybelline falsies flare mascara. it's my winning combination. my kids and husband all have amazing lashes and then i am the odd woman out with lashes that stick straight out and are thin as kate moss's forearms. if i layer these two mascaras then i almost look like i belong in my family. 

literacy is the ill-est

believe it or not, i know how to read. 

in fact i love to read. 

since i've been breastfeeding a baby all summmer, i've been doing a ton of reading. i think i'm pretty tough to please too. i rarely give a 5 star rating and 4 star ratings and often begrudgingly given.  

one of my favorite things to do is update my book reviews on goodreads. i like writing the review almost as much as reading the book, even if i don't like the book, i love to write about it. often i even take notes. i think that means i need to go back to school and get a master's in book reports.

these are my top books from the past 2 months:

1. look me in the eye by john elder robinson

i thought this was a great memoir about a man who has asperger's syndrome but was not diagnosed until he was 40 years old. funny, shocking, sad and enlightening. 

2. bewitching by alex flinn

i love YA fiction, i love fairy tales, i love nerdy girls who like to read. this was just fun and easy. nerdy girls unite! it's the 2nd in a series, but it's not imperative that you read the 1st book(beastly, i also really enjoyed. now a major motion picture) to understand the 2nd. and this book cover is indicative of absolutely nothing in the story.

3. the book thief by markus zuzak

interesting view of WWII germany. very emotional. don't read it on a bad day.  a great book to take notes on.

4 and 5. wildwood dancing and cybele's secret by juliet marillier

 

both excellent. both a good stories exclusive of the other. again, i love fairy tales and these are really sweet but not so sweet that they give you a stomach ache. there is a lot to think about and lots of eastern european history. my friend wrote about them, "I like that the character in both of these novels are known for their intelligence and wit, rather than their beauty." well said. 

and some of my 5 star rated books on goodreads:

1. gone with the wind by margaret mitchell

pretty much the best book ever. 

2. economics in one lesson by henry hazlitt

about 10 years ago my husband paid me $50 to read this and i should have read it without the $50 incentive. it's an excellent way to begin to understand economics and how to make good financial decisions. i've referred to it several times in the time since and i am a smarter, better informed person because of it. 

3. two moons in august by martha brooks

one of my faves from my adolescence. i loved reading it and realizing that there are lot of teenage girls who feel lost. you'll want to call your mom. and wear bright red lipstick.

least fave

the trend i would most like to see die a quick and sudden death would have to be ugly cankle boots worn with skirts or shorts. 

i hate it.

it's like a really confused pioneer in summertime. "i want to enjoy the warm sun on my calves, but only on my calves. i've got to protect my feet from all those cow pies at the beach."

even worse are ragged shorty shorts with ankle boots. it looks so uncomfortable. if you twisted your ankle on those spindly heels you would absolutely scrape your legs all the way from shin to upper thigh. 

or when paired with a dress it reminds me of the orphans from annie:

but the worst offender in creation are the faux cowgirl boots. crime against humanity! if denise huxtable wore them 25 years ago, perhaps you want to forgo that trend. and i love me some denise huxtable.

which trend do you want to shoot to death at point blank range?

post partum

having a baby is pretty great, but the cruel irony is that you have this delightful bundle of slobber and none of your clothes fit. plus, if you are breastfeeding, you have to wear two-piece outfits for easy access. so getting dressed has been pretty low on my priority list of late. plus, in the last month my laptop died, i dropped my phone in water, got a mom haircut, started a fitness plan and my big kids both got out of school for the summer. blogging has been just above cleaning the refrigerator in importance. this is pretty much a head's up that if you read this blog strictly for "fashion"(or whatever i've been pretending to do), sorry. this blog is heading back to it's original format- writing about things that make me laugh or bug me with the occasional fashion commentary thrown in for good measure. so, girl who emailed me about not blogging enough even though i just had a baby and threatened to take me off the blah blah blah fashion bloggers directory? go for it. i'm quite alright with my sporadic blogging and i'm not losing sleep about losing readership. this is a hobby. my family is my life.

but i did wear this today:

 the skirt is from tjmaxx. i got it for $13.

yesterday i was supposed to be grocery shopping but i was a little depressed about the fact that i was wearing the same threadbare sweatpants again and i rolled over to the maxx instead. i don't want to make a huge financial commitment to new clothes, but i've got to be realistic that even if i get back to my former size, everything is going to be in a different. after my other 2 babies i eventually got back to the size that most of my clothes are, but even then stuff was wonky. and it's not even completely a weight issue. my hips are different, i'm a woman and a food source at the same time and loose skin is just part of the deal no matter if you lifted weights your entire pregnancy. i miss being fit! i miss my muscles and nothing tastes as good as fitness feels. so i started the jillian michael's 30 day shred. let's do it together! it's only 25 minutes. it's intense but i still have time to love on this diaper filler: